By Sweetie, Fitness Trainer
Friends, as you read in my last blog we have a problem. Yes, a weighty problem. Etude and Rondo, the chubby bunnies of Mischief and Mayhem Central are the problem. Well, you know they aren't bunnies but they sure do look like chubby bunnies. Or as Grammy says, Beached whales.
So, I have been working on a plan to get the weight off these lazy boys. Yes, it is time they get back to caring for their own butts. Poor Whiskers shouldn't have to groom those too. She has enough with doing faces and ears.
My plan is a Five Step program. I also aim to get Mousie and Whiskers involved: Mousie to bulk up and Whiskers to reduce a little and tone up. Their plans will be different based on their ages and needs.
So here is the plan for the boys …
Get those two bozos off the sofa and to my fitness gym. (They mustn't know that the pizza and lattes is a ruse to get them there.) Have healthy snacks for them instead but they will have to earn them. (Cutting up thin crust low-fat cheese pizzas into 1 inch squares, and fresh water to drink. NO MORE LATTES!!! For every 15 sit-ups completed (aiming for without a break but we'll be easy on them to start) or 10 minutes on treadmill, etc. they can have one square of pizza and all the water they want.
1. Warm up and cool down - and that doesn't mean curling up before a warm fire. Stretching those muscles so they'll be ready for step 2.
2. Sit ups - (We'll be lucky if they manage 1 each the first day but we'll aim high.)
3. Treadmill - walking on all fours on a moving treadmill.... not turning it off and lying on it.
4. Stationary bicycle - starting out at 1/4 mile at a time and adding an additional 1/4 mile as they meet their goal... then level off once they can do an hour without sweating.
5. Rowing machine - add this to the regimen once they've managed the rest.
So, friends. Will you help us encourage them to lose that blubber they are sporting?
By Etude and Rondo in response to Sweetie, Fitness Trainer
Sweetie, please don't concern yourself with our fitness program. Our photo says it all when it comes to your planned regimen.
You and the girls have it easy... free feedings, a room to yourselves, a cat tree to lounge in and a bed to stretch out on. We, on the other hand, only have a sofa and chairs, doled out food and nighttime-only access to the bedroom. No snacks, no daybed, no cat-tree.
We have it all in paw. In fact, we have joined a program ourselves... and are working to excel at all aspects of the program. We've joined the CPA.
Friends, you must wonder what is the CPA? Well here is a hint... "Hello, my name is Etude and I am a Couch Potato...." We are surprised you don't know about Couch Potatoes Anonymouse. Yes, we admit we are couch potatoes and we do it well. Hey! Grammy says if you're going to do something do it well. We're just following her directive.
So how does Couch Potatoes Anonymouse work? What we can tell you is we are doing our best to fulfill the group's five rules which are...
1. Practice being Couch Potatoes daily - lie on the sofa and snooze. crawl onto the cat bed and cat nap, repose in a carrier and rest.
2. Nibble tuna pizza, mackerel muffins or any other snack of choice and slurp lattes with gusto.
3. Avoid exercise at all times.... except when snacks are provided, then run like crazy to devour them.
4. Encourage Grammy to groom us removing excess fur to reduce the size of our image. If we look slimmer maybe Sweetie won't try to push us around so much.
5. Ignore sisters and others who think they know what's best for us.
So, Sweetie, you can keep your fitness gymn and bring in your friends and exercise them but leave us out of it. We love every Kilo (or Pound if you are American friends) of ourselves.
Anyway, Grammy has postponed our visit to the vet until Spring so we're just going to enjoy American Thanksgiving with our friends south of the border, and Christmas with everyone. Spring is a long way off. No sense worrying about something half a year away. Best to enjoy one day at a time.
Friends, we love to hear from you... bring on the comments... and let's have some laughs.
by Sweetie, Personal Trainer and Fitness Guru
Good morning friends.
We have a problem. Yes, you heard me... a problem... and it's a heavy duty one. Grammy had been noticing that the boys seem to be bigger than they were in the summer. They told her it was just their winter coat fluffing them out and so she relaxed and let it go UNTIL...
She picked up Rondo and just about dropped the chubby old boy. Well, he isn't so old but he sure is chubby... and it AIN'T fluffy fur. No way! Oh, my apologies, friends. It isn't fluffy fur! Is that better?
Mr Chatty Chubbo Charlie, formerly known as Rondo had packed on some lard. Either that or he was carrying a bunch of Looneys and Tooneys in his pocket and I can tell you this. He doesn't have any Looneys or Tooneys… he may be looneytoonie in the noodle but he isn't flush. He has spent every bit of his pocket money on lattes and tuna treats.... and he's paid and paying the price.
Well, after wrenching her back with Mr. Triple C, she moved on to 'little' Etude. Picking him up gave her a hernia... Yep! Mr Fattitude had increased his girth too. Those tuna pizzas will do it to you every time. Will he ever learn? Once in a while a treat of tuna pizza is ok but a daily diet of them followed by a snack of mackerel muffins has made a muffin out of him.
SO, knowing a vet visit is due sometime in the hopefully DISTANT future Grammy decided it was time to weigh the porkchops and us. AND what a shock! Rondo has gained almost a pound since our last vet visit while Etude has amassed and additional one point eight pounds.. doubling Rondo's gain. Seeing this we suggest Etude swap out pizza and muffins for lattes... or better yet... they both stop snacking. The good news is we three girls have gained a little. Mousie put on a few ounces.. and topped seven pounds again, Whiskers had a few lattes with Rondo we think but is still under the maximum (gotta keep an eye on her) and I've gained less than half a pound and am right in the middle of my ideal range. As usual, I'm PERFECT! *smiles angelically.
Now the shocker for Grammy was that she's chunked up a bit. She's regained some of what she'd lost last spring. Yep, if she'd asked me I could have told her but then again, I value my life so I'd probably prevaricate or at least waffle warily on the answer.
So, what to do!!!
Well, I have a plan and it's nothing like in our previous blog on weighty issues. In that one Whiskers bamboozled Grammy and we almost got turfed from the condo complex. This time, I'm going to manage the program and work them hard.
Etude suddenly pipes up!
Wait a moment here... Sweetie! What are you trying to pull? Rondo and I are quite capable of weight management. We don't need you to harass and prod us to work out. We are self-motivated.... and we'll prove it.
Friends, we've joined the CPA... So, stay tuned for our post next week. We'll show that little exercise nut! We will!
Five Cats, Five Personalities, One Goal - Mischief & Mayhem.