And Grammy Screamed!

Sweetie, chronicler of all things goofy about Grammy

And this one's the goofiest.  Believe me!

It was a dark and stormy night.  No it wasn't!  It was a normal evening.  Aunty L and Grammy were chatting on the telephone.  Suddenly Grammy let out a million decibel scream. 

She almost burst Aunty L's eardrum. While they were chatting Grammy had to wash her hands for some unknown reason. Suddenly a ginormous spider ran along the wall beside the sink.  I must say, it was pretty big... almost as big as my paw, black bodied with very long legs.

You may not know this about Grammy but she is terrified of spiders and centipedes.  Truly!  Why?  Well, when she was growing up she would read in bed until the wee hours.  Frequently these creatures of the night would invade her room and run across her bedspread or gather on her walls.  Even her big, brave brother was scared of the centipedes in that house.  They were huge! 

Another time while helping her momma with laundry a pale white one jumped out of a drain when she turned on a tap.  It must have been at least 4 inches long, or so she says.  *Shudder!*  Her mom, who wasn't afraid of anything even cringed when she saw that one.   Results of these experiences? Grammy terrified forever.

Okay, so back to this latest crisis.  She was chatting, washing her hands and she screamed.  Poor Aunty L's ears!  Well, as scared as she would be Grammy couldn't let it get away.  Grabbing some TP she scooped and squished.  To be sure it was dead she peeled back the TP and NOTHING!!!!!   Where was it?  After searching the walls and vanity finally she found it curled into spider fetal position on the countertop and dispatched it forthwith... then into the toilet, FLUSH! 

You'd think Grammy could relax then, wouldn't you!  Well, not our Grammy!  Cleaning her specs... (spectacles/glasses) so she could see more clearly she went on the hunt.  Where there's one spider there is bound to be another.

AND SHE WAS RIGHT!  There where wall meets ceiling she saw a black dot, and another, and another... eight more tiny spiders...newly hatched and just waiting to creep Grammy out.  Well, they got dispatched too.   And an hour later, another six surfaced near the vanity and were deep-sixed.  Then into the shower, light on and another half dozen.  It's a veritable invasion.  This could go on all night!  *shudder*

From there the old girl progressed to bedroom, livingroom and kitchen finding one more teensy spider on the livingroom wall alongside a moth and they both bit the proverbial dust, tout suite. 

You must know spiders eat insects and this moth would be considered dinner at some point in its lifespan but, in this case the moth was 10 times the size of the baby spider so if anything it might have been the moth's dinner if moths eat spiders.   Something to Google!! Do clothing moths eat spiders?   If I find out I'll let you know...

So, all arachnids as far as we can tell have been TPed and drowned in a swirl of TW (toilet water - and not the sweet smelling kind you find in a bottle) but Grammy is feeling buggy.  This always happens after she sees such a creature, even if she knows it's dead and gone.  A piece of cat hair fluffs against her leg -SWIPE!  SPIDER!  A hair on her head flips against her forehead - SWIPE! SPIDER!  

The old girl's going to be twitchy all night or knock herself out swatting her head.   I think we kitties will sleep in the livingroom until this is over.

P.S.  Next day: And the body count continues to rise every time Grammy visits the loo.  Such fun! 

P.P.S.  It has finally ended.  The body count is well over 35... but she ran out of fingers, toes and kitty paws to count on.

Comments are welcomed.  No more photos, please.

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Copyright: © Tim Cordell via CartoonStock - www.cartoonstock.com/cartoonview.asp?catref=tcrn1347