by Whiskers, Conjurer of C Words,

Well dear Friends.  We have had 2 Alphabet Soup blogs both A is for and B is for... and they seem to have been well received.  So, now if we follow the alphabetical sequence it is only logical to move on to C but be aware, we may CHANGE it up in future blogs and allow a few to CHARGE on ahead... letters like Q or X or Z... those exciting letters that get little exposure, that CLAIM a position in the latter half of the alphabet, letters which start fewer words than most others.  For now, we'll leave them to the future and CONSIDER today's CONSONANT.

Now, I don't CLAIM to be CONSUMMATELY COGNIZANT of all the C words but on CHEWING it over with the other CATS in our CONDO they agreed we don't have to COMPLETELY COVER every C-word in the COMPLETE Oxford English Dictionary. And so, it was CONSIDERED that I should COP a turn writing this COLUMN and here goes...

First and foremost you may be wondering what the situation is with those CREEPY-CRAWLIES of which we've been inundated.  Well, the CORPORATION has arranged for the CONTROLLER of Troublesome CRITTERS to take CARE of the CONCERN on Tuesday - that is tomorrow.   We hope that they will CONK out and be COMATOSE until they CROAK.  Then we can CELEBRATE with CHICKEN COOKIES, aka treats.

On another note though, let me tell you a secret.  Grammy stayed up all night one night working on her knitting COURSE.  She had been organizing and writing COPIOUS notes  - Knitting Instructions, Resources and a Pattern for the CLASS to make.  BUT before they would be useful they needed step by step photographs on how to CREATE each stitch.  

A friend helped by CAPTURING photographs as Grammy demonstrated them:  CAST-ON, knit, purl, CAST-OFF *aka bind-off and Knit 2 together - up to 8 photographs for each stitch.  This CONSUMED a whole afternoon. 

​Now, would you believe this?  The old Crone (feminine word for CODGER) assembled the photos in order with written instructions beneath, COMPLETED two other documents.  This took all night!  Yes, like from 7 PM to 6:30 AM.   Talk about stupid, almost CRETINOUS.  She was useless the next day.  TOTALLY! 

After a few days to recover she sent them off to be edited by two COLLEAGUES.  They were thorough and noticed a COUPLE of un-CLEAR instructions and CLUED her in.   GRAMMY fixed them, printed the document and left it overnight.  When she went back to it again, read it through with a CRITICAL eye she found three more errors - two where left and right were reversed and one photograph which was in twice.  Oops!

Well, finally it was ready and none too soon.  CLASS was last Friday and all went well.  The CO-ORDINATOR was pleased, Grammy was too.  So, now the old dear goes back this afternoon, not to teach, but to be available to COACH if the students want some one-on-one.  If a CONFERENCE room is available for them to meet next week another CLASS will be scheduled for the next lesson. 

Now you must wonder what we feline CUTIEPIES have been busy doing while all this was going on.  Well, someone, name held  to protect the guilty, CAPITULATED a CHERISHED CUP making it CRASH into four pieces and then joined the rest of us CURLED up in our CONDOS, in the CLOSET, in or on our CRATES, COTS, CHAISES, COUCHES or CHAIRS CONTEMPLATING how CALM and tranquil it has been with Grammy CONSUMED by her COURSE....   It has been CELESTIAL! 

I think we'll give her a C plus.  What do you say?
COMMENTS are welcomed.  Let's have fun with them.

By Sweetie, instigator, chronicler and tattle-tail (sic)

Good morning friends.  

As you know we have started a series called Alphabet Soup.  Today I'm taking on the Bs.... but note that we may insert other BLOGS in between our soupy series and our alphabet may not be in alphabetical order which will only be determined as the mood or antics of the weeks play out.  

For today though we are on to the Bs - yes, and that stands for BOYS and BOISTEROUSNESS and BOTHER and others as the blog unfolds. 

Let's start off with BEDEVILLED.  Now that is a great word to describe how Grammy feels this morning!   That and BUMMED. 

At the weekend she came home with a treat for herself... VIVA PUFFS.  You know!  Those cookies that are a wafer bottom with a dollop of raspberry jam topped by a marshmallow and coated with a layer of chocolate.   Yes, those treats that just melt in the mouth and make the taste-BUDS sing. 

She opened the BOX, treated herself to a few and returned them to the pantry for future enjoyment.    You'd think the old BAT would have learned by now.  We have ants that are tiny as 2 mm (millimeters) or .08 of an inch in length and have olfactory capabilities that can seek out anything within a million times that distance.

Unfortunately, while Grammy slept then was out for church yesterday those little BEASTS smelt out the chocolate-covered deliciousness, formed a platoon and marched off in BATTLE formation.  Grammy went to enjoy a treat last evening when she returned from church.  There in the pantry in a supposedly sealed plastic container with those BISCUITS were crumb-carrying critters from the Class Insecta, Family Formidiae. 

Those BOLD BEASTIES managed to crawl through the minute crack between lid and BODY of the container.  And they were carrying off Grammy's treat one crumb at a time to parts unknown.  Well, that was the end of the Viva Puff treats.   They have since been BANISHED to the BOTTOM of the BIN BREAKING Grammy's HEART.  The BUG man cannot come too soon.

Now, on to the BROTHERS.  Grammy overslept today.  As a result of BEING wired about the course she's teaching and BOLSTERED by late-night coffee she was up from Thursday night to Friday morning working on a PowerPoint Presentation.  This,  followed by a BUSY weekend resulted in her waking up late, BLEARY-eyed and even later feeding us this morning. And this despite the tabby-two BOUNCING BOISTEROUSLY as they 'massaged' her BACK.  The old dear was truly BENUMBED!

Can you BELIEVE it?!!!  But once awake she fell into her normal routine.  BUSTED GRAMMY!  It was more important to make the BED BEFORE feeding the starving BEVY.  Well, that was sort of okay with we three girls ... BUT those BROTHERS saw things a little differently.

Etude and Rondo BOUNCED BACK and forth BETWEEN BEDROOM and kitchen in anticipation of what they considered BRUNCH. Forget that long past BREAKFAST thing!  The were going for BREAKFAST and LUNCH in one go.  Then Grammy decided to put her cold BREW into the microwave to reheat (BLECH!) BEFORE feeding the two BOZOS so they started BOXING BUNNY style.   I tell you, those BRAWLING BUCKS are more BOTHER than BENEFIT to Grammy who is now BONKERS.  BELIEVE It or Not every word is true. You have my BOND.

Comments are always welcomed.  Let's keep them light and funny. 

by Etude, adorable gentlecat

As a group we at Mischief and Mayhem Central have decide to start a series called Alphabet Soup.  What can be more comforting than a hot bowl of soup on a cold, winters day!  Soup is definitely Grammys go to.  Ours is ANY place that we can snuggle in and be warm.  Of course, that is AFTER we have had our breakfast.  AND  soup isn't on our menu.  No siree! 

Now a quick reference to and update on last week's blog...Feeling Antsy? ANTS are not Grammy's favourite critter but the good news is... they may be on the decline.  After blogging last week Grammy put down borax and powdered sugar in a small area of the countertop where they kept appearing and blocked it with the paper-towel dispenser and Brita water jug to keep us away from the 'poison'. All it takes is for the ants to walk through the toxic combo to track it into and kill off the nest.

Grammy has noted all week that the number of ants appearing daily is diminishing and the ants that do appear are looking rather peaked (pronounced Peek-Ed), unwell.  Yes, you heard me.  They look paler, less robust, confused and unfocused.  Let's hope this is the beginning of the end of the ANTS.

Now, on to other topics of the "A" persuasion.  Next on our list is ANTICIPATION.  Yesterday we got just a whiff of Spring... but it was enough for Grammy to open windows last evening to let in some fresh and push out the stale, used-up AIR.  Today may be gloomy but that little bit of freshness has given us hope that, like the ants in decline, winter is on the downward slope of the season. 

We feline furballs love spring.  We also love summer and AUTUMN when the windows can be opened and we hear birds singing in the trees and bees buzzing the flowers.   We anticipate this will inspire Rondo to write some more poetry but no promises.  He says he must await the muses.  Now on to more A words...

ANXIOUS... AUNTY E has just arrived.  Who is Aunty E?  She's our cleaning lady. Don't get me wrong.  We are not anxious that she's going to clean.  We love a clean condo... and Aunty E is a lovely, kind lady who absolutely adores us ... but when she is here things get moved around and everything is dusted, washed, scrubbed and ends up spotless and sparkling.  If we didn't hide from her we would be given the same treatment.  *giggles*  The results are wonderful but the issue is... to get there she brings out the Gobble Monster and we are terrified of that fearsome beast and hide until it is put back in its cage.

ADHESIVE or ADVERSARIAL - When Aunt E is here we are either of those two words. We either cling to Grammy like velcro or we attack the girls.  We know that it is wrong to attack Sweetie et al but we do it anyway.  Grammy says it is an issue of being overly stimulated.  Then we get ADMONISHED and are ANGUISHED that she might be upset with us at which time we cuddle up and become Velcro cats.

So, on that note... ADIEU!  It is time to go and cuddle up with Grammy until this upheaval and commotion is over.

Comments are welcomed.  Hopefully they'll be light, funny and/or even silly. 

We LOVE you.

by Whiskers, Matriarch of Mischief

Good morning, friends.  Wow! The lionish start to March is making me antsy.  I would love to open windows and smell the fresh air but, it isn't to be.  At least, not yet.  But on to the topic of the day....

As you know Grammy has had to deal with critters of the more-than-four-legged sometimes winged kind in days gone by. If you check out past blogs including our first  and Rondo's poem you will find Grammy  has  battled many critters. She's also trembled and run from a few too.  This time it seems she is not retreating but fears it may be a losing battle. 

What are these fearsome beasties?  Ants!  Yes, you heard me.  ANTS.  Those miniscule creatures that work in colonies to the good of all of the ant persuasion... but not to the benefit of Grammy or us.  

A year and a half ago she conquered and destroyed ants that invaded from the balcony.  They were cement ants and fairly large.  At least large enough to see as soon as they appeared.  Grammy won that battle with sugar and borax.  She mixed the two together, placed them outside on the balcony and in strategic locations under the fridge interrupting their trails to the pantry, the cat food dishes, and whatever else might attract them.  They eventually took enough borax-laced sugar back to the nest and the colony died off.  Win for Grammy!

This new batch though are miniscule and proving to be much harder to conquer.  After dispatching the first flank who entered through the screen onto the windowsill she researched how to deter them and destroy the nest.  Basically, the same strategy as used for the cement ants should work.  Set out the borax/sugar formula, make sure there is nothing to attract them other than said toxic meal and then search and destroy any that appear anywhere other than where the poison stations are set. 

So, this is what she's been doing.  Peanut butter and borax stations are regularly replaced with fresh ones in the bottoms of cupboards, while the powdered sugar with borax in open lids is placed under the fridge and stove, all safely away from curious cats. 

Additional remedies she researched were cinnamon or bay leaves placed where the ants appear. Those were useless.  The lead ants forged a path through the cinnamon leaving room for the troops to carry on to their destination.  With the bay leaves they were tiny enough they just travelled beneath the leaves as though they didn't exist.

To be sure there is nothing to attract the critters cupboard shelves have been washed regularly and all food product that doesn't need refrigeration is stored in airtight glass or Tupperware containers and kept in the pantry. Even the everyday things on countertop - sugar, ground coffee, butter - are sealed in screwtop containers.  Leaving nothing to chance dishes and cooking items are immediately rinsed and placed into the dishwasher, counters washed down with vinegar and water and sink scrubbed.

Finally, Saturday it was thought the nest had been demolished.  Why?  Because the wingless queen appeared staggering confusedly and emaciated on the countertop and was unceremoniously dispatched by Grammy. 

​How do we know it was the queen?  No, she didn't wear a crown, but she was much longer in the body and striped. And quick trip to the internet confirmed her identity.

Grammy read the REWARD poster.  "Wanted DEAD with her photograph beneath it. In small letters below the photo it said, "Sudden colony collapse is your reward!"

Grammy was elated until she read the caveat beneath these words.  Did you know ant colonies are not necessarily monogynous meaning they only have one queen? Some can have multiple queens and while one part of the colony might die out the others will flourish.  These are polygynous and oligogynous colonies. AND queens can live as long as 2 years producing thousands of eggs.  Some species have been known to live as long as thirty years (don't believe me? Look it up!) producing millions, yes millions of little ant larvae. HORRORS!  So was Grammy's elation short-lived?  You bet!

Those little beasties are still appearing on the countertop in twos and threes and sometimes fours.  It's time to call out the X-Terminator again but it sure would be nice if we could wait until milder weather when windows can be opened.  Why, you say? Well, that particular solution is almost as horrible as the problem. 

Comments are welcomed.  Let's keep them funny, but not sugary-sweet. No need to attract more ANTS!