by Whiskers, INFAMOUS Matriarch of Mischief aka IMPISHNESS

Good day dear friends.  I am here to ILLUMINATE your lives today... though how I'm to do IT eludes me.  I don't have the qualities needed to brighten or to enhance your day... as I'm more of an IMP not an ILLUSTRATOR.  

What I can do IS IMPLICATE my fellow felines of Mischief and Mayhem Central IN the mayhem we create on a daily basis.   I'm not so sure they will be pleased at my efforts, but then when have I ever worried about that!  NEVER!  

IN this household we are comprised of only six bodies - five feline and 1 bi-ped….. our Grammy but at times the neighbours must think we are a INIMITABLE herd of IMPALAS.   But let me reassure you.  There are only five of the quadrupeds in the house... and there is only one INDIVIDUAL, yes one, who gallops around this place and sounds like a horde of marauding INFIDELS.  That one is Sweetie.  Our beloved youngest IN the family is a noisy and INVETERATE chaser of INVISIBLE INTRUDERS.
  
That's right.  We don't see what she chases but she patrols the perimeter of the INSIDE of the condo from one end to the other, seeking out any and all who attempt to INFILTRATE.  Those INVETERATE beings are then systematically dispatched to INFINITY.  IN doing so she is prone to heavy-footed galloping, leaping up walls to great heights and of course landing with a loud thump on the floor again to dispose of the critter(s) forthwith - thus the herd of IMPALAS reference.   She must be doing a fine job as we've never been INVADED, INFILTRATED, or overrun yet.    Our wee Sweetie is INVALUABLE to our family.

Mousie, my dear sweet INFANT and the  characteristically shy one is quite the opposite of our noisy Sweetie.  Mousie prefers the quiet life.  Curled up behind/under her blanket or IN the eerie on the Kitty Condo, she dreams of her Cheffy Dearest.  But, she has her moments.  Yes, siree.  When least expected our wee Mousie will climb down from her throne on high, and join the family.  This starts with a gentle, silent drop to the floor and a canter across the bedroom, a perfect arc of a jump through the door-flap. On landing hall-side the wee one takes a quick look around, checking for the INSTRUMENTS of torture known as Etude and Rondo before clicking her claws across the tiles to the water fountain.  IF someone notices her in the main part of the condo she makes a hasty exit back to her safe haven IN the bedroom. If unnoticed she'll proceed to Grammy's chair for a few kisses and a cuddle before retiring again.  Sweet little Mousie, our sweet little INTROVERT loves her peace and quiet where she can ponder life's INCONGRUOUS INCONSISTENCIES.

Well, dear friends, dear old Grammy ISN'T up to this blog stuff at the moment so she's cut us off with our blog barely half done.   How dare she!  So, here IT IS... the INCOMPLETE blog.​
​At least we can share a photo of our two youngest.  Mousie and Sweetie.

Comments are welcomed especially if they are light and funny.

 by Rondo, poet and choirmaster.

HELLO, dear readers.  HERE I am...  ready to tackle the letter H.  HOPE it goes well, though why shouldn't it?  As poet and choirmaster I HAVE been leading this choir for years.   This year I HAVE HIGH HOPES for the HENS and chick who live in the HOOD. 

HAVING posted posters asking the neighbourhood finches, HOUSE sparrows and their cousins the HARRIS' sparrows, nuthatches, HUMMINGBIRDS, red-winged blackbirds to join our choir  we are still a little short on the deeper voices.  Etude refused to be the only tenor in the choir so I HOPPED the transit down to the waterfront and invited the HORNED grebe and the HERON in the marshes and considered the HAWKS since we need some bass voices.   You may relax.  We asked them to sign agreements that food sources would not include members of the choir or their families.  Even then I have been a little HESITANT and on my guard.  

Mr. HAWK and HIS family were a reluctant but acquiesced, assured us they would HUNT further abroad because it would be an HONOUR to be in the choir.   WOW!  An HONOUR! Who'd HAVE thought? 

And so, we have our choir... and what a treat.  Now, every morning through spring, summer and autumn we gather on the window ledge, inside and out, at the crack of dawn to sing our HEARTS out as the sun rises above the HORIZON!  *Giggles*  Grammy isn't so HAPPY to be wakened from her nightly HORIZONTAL HIBERNATION.  But what fun to torment HER.  Of course, once HER HEART returns to a normal beat she can lay back and enjoy our HEAVENLY singing.  *Giggles again*  It is such fun to HARASS the old girl.

And now, just a little repost of a poem from last year. 

April in the City

The leaf it buds upon the tree
It makes me hum; I feel such glee
That snow is spent; now grasses grow
Amid the flowers, a verdant show.

Outdoors I’ll be in spirit, though
For in big city we cats don’t go
Beyond the sill and window pane
It isn’t safe so we home remain.

But there we listen with deep intent
To birds a-singing, We are content
To watch them soar as they go past  
Delighting in their joy. Spring, at last!
​
© Whiskers, Mouse, Sweetie, Etude & Rondo - Mischief and Mayhem Central 
Published originally in blog posted April 30, 2018

​
So dear friends... on that note I'm calling it a wrap...

​We love to hear your comments... especially if they are funny or better yet, HILARIOUS HUMDINGERS!

by Whiskers, Mouse, Sweetie, Etude and Rondo.

GOLLY GOSH, GRAMMY has GROWN weary.  Sorry, we had a hard time finding a word fitting to describe tired starting with the letter G.  *GIGGLES* but let us tell you.  The old GIRL is dragging her GIRTH today.  Now that doesn't sound as much fun as butt, but, hey.  What can we say? We GOT to use a G-word.  And that's what this is about. 

GRAMMY had a GREAT Saturday attending the Knitter's GUILD yarn fest...The Knitter's Frolic with a GIRLFRIEND.  Not only did she wander through the site checking out the beautiful yarns, accessories and such, she volunteered on the admissions desk for a couple of hours too.  Now we must admit, she resisted spending and limited herself to one skein of yarn to make herself a lap blanket to keep her upper legs warm when she is sitting and it is GORGEOUS.  We can hardly wait to try it out, though we overheard her say when we are on her lap it won't be.  Yeah, sure!  Try and stop us.  *GIGGLES* 

Sunday was equally wonderful (or more so, if that's possible) with visits from niece and GREAT-neice.  They drove down from north of Midland (in the GREAT Canadian Shield) for the day, attended church with her, and took GRAM out to a favourite eating spot for lunch and a long visit before heading back.  The three of them were celebrating a special occasion but that is all we'll say about that.   What an awesome time it was.

GALLOPING onward...

Before heading back to GRAVENHURST (or its vicinity) they dropped GRAMMY off at another GIRLFRIEND's place where she visited, napped and knitted before they both attending evening church and listened to an amazing missionary preach.  It was GLORIOUS, according to GRAMMY.  She loves her friends, family and church and counts each and every one as a blessing in her life.

Today GRAMMY is GETTING her eyes tested.  About time! She's been squinting to read, GETS tired quickly and hasn't updated her GOGGLES for four or five years.  GOSH GOLLY!  It's about time!

Please forgive us for making this short.  GRAMMY has a busy day - teaching this afternoon and GETTING a vitamin jab in her arm before coming back to GREET us, feed us GOOD food and GIVE us cuddles and kisses and all the GRAND things in life.  

GRAMMY put together the following photo GROUPINGS for you to enjoy. 

Comments are welcomed.  Of course, funny, sweet or hilarious are preferred.

by Rondo, Friend to Frodo

Good morning, FRIENDS.  Isn't today FANTASTIC?  
​
Not sure I can do as FABULOUSLY as Etude in his last blog but I shall put my best FOOT FORWARD and FORGE ahead.  Well, actually I'll be putting my paw FORWARD since we cats have paws, which gives me pause.  Why are our FEETSIES called paws but FOLKS have FEET?   Can anyone explain?   And while I'm at it, why do people have two hands and two FEET but we have FOUR paws - two FOREPAWS and two hindpaws but they are all FOUR paws?  Or better yet, why aren't peoples' hands called FOREFEET  or their FEET called hind hands?  I'm FLUMMOXED!  

Well that'll give us all something to FOCUS on other than FOOD.. although just as Eating is Etude's passion FOOD is mine.  I bet you are surprised to FIND that out.  Of course you are.  And while I'm on this topic let me correct Etude's statement that I sing for my FEAST in the key of E FLAT.  I sing in the key of F natural when I'm FAMISHED and F sharp when I'm near to FAINTING FROM FOOD deprivation.  These are very distinct sounds.   Of course, Etude, not being musical would be less than knowledgeable about the distinction between E FLAT and F Flat so we must FORGIVE him FOR being FOGGY minded on that topic. (Just for a little extra FUN - go to a piano keyboard and check out E sharp and F natural.  *giggles*)  

Okay, now on to other FAVOURED F words.  How about FOUNTAIN, FIRESIDE and FEATHERBED or FABRICATE, FICTION and FIASCO?  Well, I think I'll begin with FOUNTAIN, FIRESIDE and FEATHERBED... all of which are FOUND in our home.  We have two FOUNTAINS FROM which to quench our thirst and multiple FEATHERBEDS to FLOP on while being mesmerized by the FIRE crackling in the FIREPLACE on our television.  Now that is FABULOUS, don't you think?   The other three words I'll address near the end... so stay FOCUSED.

While we're at it... two more of my FAVOURITES are FRIENDS and FAMILY.  Well, FROM our list of FRIENDS of whom there are many, a FEW of those of the F crowd are FRODO and FAMILY of Many Claws in St. Croix and Da FLUFFAROONIEZ - the whole crew.  These two groups have been our FRIENDS FOR it seems like FOREVER.  FRODO is our buddy who FLITS around the Virgin Islands on his Hoverboard FORAGING FOR FRANKLINS to pay for FUEL to FLY his plane on our adventures to FARAWAY places.  OKAY, he and his FAMILY are our FRIENDS and he hoverboards and FLIES a plane but the part about FRANKLINS was stuff and nonesense... aka FOOLISHNESS.   Suffice it to know that he and his family are our dear FRIENDS and we love their FLUFFINESSES into FOREVER.

by Etude, Eloquent Entertainer.

Good morning, dear friends.  
It is time for one of the male persuasion to write... and since my name starts with E and I'm full of ENERGY I have decided to ELUCIDATE on the fifth letter of the alphabet.  I'm EXCITED and ECSTATIC about it.  You? Of course you are!  EXACTLY!

But first... let me introduce myself and  ESTABLISH a few facts thus ELEVATING your knowledge of me as well as ENDEARING myself to you, our ENTHUSIASTIC, ENERVATED readers. I'm a cat... and an EDUCATED and EXQUISITE one at that.

Now, I don't want you to think I'm EGOTISTICAL.  I'm not. In fact, I'm rather EASY.  Not EASY as in … well, you know but EASY-going.  I love to cuddle... that is.. I love to EMBRACE Grammy's arm with my fuzzy, ELONGATED paws and stare into her EYES adoringly.  This is my way of ENSURING Grammy loves me ENTIRELY and usually ELICITS 'ooohs' and 'awwwws' and return snuggles.  I must say, when she does this with visitors observing it can be a little EXASPERATING and my usual white and EBONY (more ELEGANT than grey, don't you think?) turns pink with EMBARASSMENT but deep down I love it!    

Oh, oh, oh!  I've just had an EPIPHANY about the ELEPHANT.  In previous blogs animals were discussed.  In this one, EVEN though there are many critters with E-names, only one is relevant to me.  The ELEPHANT... an ENORMOUS mammal with a long memory.  Not much more to say EXCEPT that unlike the ELEPHANT with the long memory I have an ELASTIC one that holds about ELEVEN things at a time. But, when my tummy ELOQUENTLY EXPRESSES an EMPTINESS the brain refocuses to one thing and one thing only.  EATING!  Yes, my whole being ENCOURAGES me to ELICIT food from Grammy. 

How do I do that?  I ELOCUTE at the top of my voice.  I would like you to know that I learned from my sweet, gentle brother how to ENERGETICALLY EXPRESS my hunger.  Rondo is a poet and the choirmaster of the sunrise chorus of birds and siblings... but uses his lungs to the utmost when he is hungry.  He EMOTES ENTHUSIASTICALLY.... and it is neither EVOCATIVE nor ELOQUENT like my tummy.  Not by a long shot.  It is particularly nasty bordering on an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK more like a shrEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK in the key of E flat. 

​But, what I've learned from him is that it ELICITS results EXPONENTIALLY so I've adopted and adapted his ESTABLISHED pattern and use it ENTHUSIASTICALLY, ESCALATING  until I get results. I do it in E sharp and it works like a charm.  Grammy thinks we are naughty, EGREGIOUS which means outstandingly bad, if you can believe it!  We prefer the archaic meaning of that word EGREGIOUS which is 'remarkably good'.  

​<---EXIT stage left. 
                                               **********

​Sorry, my EMPTY tummy was calling me.  But, now that I've EATEN to EXCESS and my tummy is ENGORGED with delicious EDIBLES we can move on to the EXACT topic of the day.  

Did you know that the letter E is the most frequently used letter in the ENGLISH language?   A study was done by Samuel Morse (1791-1872) the inventor of the Morse Code.  In short, he did it by counting the number of letters on printers' plates.  I won't ELUCIDATE further on this but if you are interested it is ELOQUENTLY and EFFICIENTLY laid out in the article linked here.   ENJOY!  It is definitely worth the read to ENTHUSIASTS of ENGLISH.

One last statement.  Well, three statements. I do not ELABORATE and EMBELLISH things.  EVERY word in this blog is ENTIRELY true.  Not one scintilla of EXAGGERATION here.

Comments are welcome.  Let's make them ENTERTAINING. ... EXIT stage right. --->

by Sweetie, DEVILISH mischief.

DEAR friends, 
As you must DEVISE, we are working our way through the alphabet and have arrived at our 5th Alphabet Soup blog and 4th letter of said alphabet.  So, here we are at D.  I'm DELIGHTED to be DESIGNATED blogger today.  DELICIOUS and DOWNRIGHT DARING!

So, you all know our Grammy, right?  Her name is DOROTHY, an old fashioned name but a name she loves as she was named after two of her mother's best friends and one of them was a DOROTHY.  DELIGHTFUL, you say?  DECIDEDLY! 

Aunt DOROTHY, as she was called, came DOWN the street from her DWELLING every DAY for a week or more to DON an apron and DELVE into DISHES, DUSTING, and other DAILY chores after caring for Grammy and each baby once it arrived home from hospital. This gave Great Grammy, aka Grammy's mommy, a bit of time to rest and adjust to the renewed routine of DIAPERS while still keeping the rest of the DENIZENS of the DOMICILE fed, laundered and the DIGS squeaky clean.  This Aunt DOROTHY was a DARLING.

Of course, our DOROTHY, aka Grammy, isn't so DOMESTICATED.  She's DELUSIONAL and somewhat DICTATORIAL but DOMESTICATED?  NOT!  Oh, she keeps our  litterboxes DE-LITTERED, DUG-OUT and DREGS DISPOSED of,  furniture DUSTED and DISHES scrubbed but falls a little short (you might say DELINQUENT) when DISPENSING our DINNERS.  DASTARDLY, DON'T you think?  But, now, I'm sure you'll find reading about our DOMESTIC DRUDGERY DREARY so let's take this DISCOURSE in a DIFFERENT DIRECTION.

You may not realize it but I'm having DIFFICULTY DELIVERING words using the letter D so, maybe we can list a DUO of animals of the D persuasion and DREDGE up some ideas.  There is the DONKEY considered a DUNCE of animals but let's DEBUNK that idea.  DONKEYS are DAPPER, DOMESTIC little hoofers with DAZZLING personalities.  Nothing DUMB about them.   Another is the DROMEDARY or Arabian camel.  It DOESN'T have the DOUBLE hump  of the BACTRIAN but is far taller.  In fact, it is the tallest of the camel family.  DECIDEDLY!

​Now a mishmash (had to use that word because no D -word exists.  DOGGEREL comes close but this is not poetry) and the closest is a DISCOURSE but mishmash is more DESCRIPTIVE.

Firstly, on the DEFINITION of onomatopoeia, that is, words whose sounds suggest their meaning - DELIGHTFUL words like DRIP, DROP,  DING DONG.  I know, these are a little lame but the best ones DON'T start with D like sizzle, zap, pow and bop.  Those ones to me are truly DIVINE.

Secondly, if you look in the DICTIONARY you will find a gazillion words starting with D and yet my DENSE brain feels DECIDEDLY lacking.  Here I am DREDGING up words in the DICTIONARY and still getting a D-.  This is DREADFUL, DRASTIC, DRACONIAN even a little DUBIOUS.  I think I'll DEPART and return to my DEN to DREAM of DRIPPING water fountains and the DULCET tones of DROWSY, DOZING family members.  *Sigh*

In the course of writing this I've gone from DELIGHTED to DEJECTED. That's it for today, DUCKIES.

​Comments are always welcomeD.

By Gentle Mousie, Quiet (maybe a little Erudite) Blogger

Good morning friends.

​I have decided to QUIT following the QUINTESSENTIAL alphabetical format and  take a QUANTUM leap into the latter half of the 26 letters of our alphabet.  I can be a little QUIRKY that way.  I may be QUIET but I'm also QUICK-witted and I think well-QUALIFIED to write this one as you'll see.

Now, you may disagree with my assessment and think I'm a QUACK but let me QUASH that thought.  I have all the QUALIFICATIONS needed to discuss this subject. 

Oh, how QUAINT! Now Grammy is QUESTIONING me.  Grammy,  no need to be in a QUANDRY.  Whiskers will QUELL your doubts.  She was my guide through the QUAGMIRE of college subjects for a QUADRENNIAL.  Yes, I finished my schooling in four years... start to finish.  So, no more QUERIES or QUIPS, readers! Let's move along here.

For those who have been following the neverendingly boring tale of the ants you'll be happy to know that it should come to an end by the time this blog is posted.  The bug-man had no QUALMS in guaranteeing that the gel he put in strategic places will make the QUEEN and her brood QUEASY.  The QUESTING QUORUM of worker ants will have taken their QUOTAS back to the nest where once consumed all will QUIVER as in shrivel up (not to be confused with a QUIVVER of arrows) on QUEUE and die.

Shall we stop QUIBBELING and continue on with our topic of the day?  The form of the letter Q is an interesting one.  It has a QUEUE at the bottom of its O, just like men of old at the bottom of their pates and like Etude has on the back of his noggin.  Check it out in the photo below.  Isn't that QUAINT?

And how about that acidic citrusy pear-like fruit, the QUINCE?  I've heard that it has a bit of a bite to it and yet they say it is a flavourful preservative.  Not sure I'd be too keen on it. It might make me QUEASY.  We cats don't like Citrus.  But hey, we do like QUICHE - that eggy dish filled with vegetables on a bed of pastry.  Yum! 

And while we are still on land how about the QUOLL, the catlike carnivorous marsupial with short legs and a white-spotted coat, native to the forests of Australia and New Guinea.  Or that geological term QUAQUAVERSAL meaning dipping from a center toward all points of the compass.  

Let's leave land and air now and dive into the deep and check out QUAHAUGS... those clams eaten in QUANTITIES by New Englanders until they've each consumed their QUOTA. I hear they bury themselves in the sand (the QUAHAUGS, not the New Englanders).  Then, when tides roll out they are plucked from their silica beds and unceremoniously  dropped into bubbling-hot cooking pots.  Don't you wonder if they QUAKE in their shells when they realize their fate?  

So, let's see what other creatures start with the letter Q.  There is the QUAIL, kind of a QUASI-partridge. ​ And, another one - the QUETZAL , a bird of Aztec persuasion.  If you look closely at my photo above you'll see I was reading about them in the latest QUARTERLY when Sweetie snapped the shot.

Now on to another QUADRANT - we've covered land, sea and air. Next comes way-out-there where there is no air - the realm of QUARKS and QUASARS.  Not much more to say about that other than there are many Q words to explain mathematical terms relating to QUANTUM Mechanics but those are out of my realm of expertise.

I think I've dragged this out long enough, don't you?  Let me put QUILL to QUIRE and deliver to you a QUATRAIN containing QUOTATION marks before you become QUERULOUS and QUESTION my sanity.

The QUADRAGENARIAN QUAKED, said, "This is QUEER!"
For he just remembered his QUARTERLY rent was due.
In a QUANDRY he combed his QUIFF as he QUAFFED his beer
And QUAVERED, "I don't know what to do."

You might say now that we've reached the end of this blog I was unequivocally QUAQUAVERSAL in my coverage of the letter Q.  Then again, you might not. You decide.

Looking forward to your QUESTIONS and/or responses, dear friends. 

by Whiskers, Conjurer of C Words,

Well dear Friends.  We have had 2 Alphabet Soup blogs both A is for and B is for... and they seem to have been well received.  So, now if we follow the alphabetical sequence it is only logical to move on to C but be aware, we may CHANGE it up in future blogs and allow a few to CHARGE on ahead... letters like Q or X or Z... those exciting letters that get little exposure, that CLAIM a position in the latter half of the alphabet, letters which start fewer words than most others.  For now, we'll leave them to the future and CONSIDER today's CONSONANT.

Now, I don't CLAIM to be CONSUMMATELY COGNIZANT of all the C words but on CHEWING it over with the other CATS in our CONDO they agreed we don't have to COMPLETELY COVER every C-word in the COMPLETE Oxford English Dictionary. And so, it was CONSIDERED that I should COP a turn writing this COLUMN and here goes...

First and foremost you may be wondering what the situation is with those CREEPY-CRAWLIES of which we've been inundated.  Well, the CORPORATION has arranged for the CONTROLLER of Troublesome CRITTERS to take CARE of the CONCERN on Tuesday - that is tomorrow.   We hope that they will CONK out and be COMATOSE until they CROAK.  Then we can CELEBRATE with CHICKEN COOKIES, aka treats.

On another note though, let me tell you a secret.  Grammy stayed up all night one night working on her knitting COURSE.  She had been organizing and writing COPIOUS notes  - Knitting Instructions, Resources and a Pattern for the CLASS to make.  BUT before they would be useful they needed step by step photographs on how to CREATE each stitch.  

A friend helped by CAPTURING photographs as Grammy demonstrated them:  CAST-ON, knit, purl, CAST-OFF *aka bind-off and Knit 2 together - up to 8 photographs for each stitch.  This CONSUMED a whole afternoon. 

​Now, would you believe this?  The old Crone (feminine word for CODGER) assembled the photos in order with written instructions beneath, COMPLETED two other documents.  This took all night!  Yes, like from 7 PM to 6:30 AM.   Talk about stupid, almost CRETINOUS.  She was useless the next day.  TOTALLY! 

After a few days to recover she sent them off to be edited by two COLLEAGUES.  They were thorough and noticed a COUPLE of un-CLEAR instructions and CLUED her in.   GRAMMY fixed them, printed the document and left it overnight.  When she went back to it again, read it through with a CRITICAL eye she found three more errors - two where left and right were reversed and one photograph which was in twice.  Oops!

Well, finally it was ready and none too soon.  CLASS was last Friday and all went well.  The CO-ORDINATOR was pleased, Grammy was too.  So, now the old dear goes back this afternoon, not to teach, but to be available to COACH if the students want some one-on-one.  If a CONFERENCE room is available for them to meet next week another CLASS will be scheduled for the next lesson. 

Now you must wonder what we feline CUTIEPIES have been busy doing while all this was going on.  Well, someone, name held  to protect the guilty, CAPITULATED a CHERISHED CUP making it CRASH into four pieces and then joined the rest of us CURLED up in our CONDOS, in the CLOSET, in or on our CRATES, COTS, CHAISES, COUCHES or CHAIRS CONTEMPLATING how CALM and tranquil it has been with Grammy CONSUMED by her COURSE....   It has been CELESTIAL! 

I think we'll give her a C plus.  What do you say?
COMMENTS are welcomed.  Let's have fun with them.

By Sweetie, instigator, chronicler and tattle-tail (sic)

Good morning friends.  

As you know we have started a series called Alphabet Soup.  Today I'm taking on the Bs.... but note that we may insert other BLOGS in between our soupy series and our alphabet may not be in alphabetical order which will only be determined as the mood or antics of the weeks play out.  

For today though we are on to the Bs - yes, and that stands for BOYS and BOISTEROUSNESS and BOTHER and others as the blog unfolds. 

Let's start off with BEDEVILLED.  Now that is a great word to describe how Grammy feels this morning!   That and BUMMED. 

At the weekend she came home with a treat for herself... VIVA PUFFS.  You know!  Those cookies that are a wafer bottom with a dollop of raspberry jam topped by a marshmallow and coated with a layer of chocolate.   Yes, those treats that just melt in the mouth and make the taste-BUDS sing. 

She opened the BOX, treated herself to a few and returned them to the pantry for future enjoyment.    You'd think the old BAT would have learned by now.  We have ants that are tiny as 2 mm (millimeters) or .08 of an inch in length and have olfactory capabilities that can seek out anything within a million times that distance.

Unfortunately, while Grammy slept then was out for church yesterday those little BEASTS smelt out the chocolate-covered deliciousness, formed a platoon and marched off in BATTLE formation.  Grammy went to enjoy a treat last evening when she returned from church.  There in the pantry in a supposedly sealed plastic container with those BISCUITS were crumb-carrying critters from the Class Insecta, Family Formidiae. 

Those BOLD BEASTIES managed to crawl through the minute crack between lid and BODY of the container.  And they were carrying off Grammy's treat one crumb at a time to parts unknown.  Well, that was the end of the Viva Puff treats.   They have since been BANISHED to the BOTTOM of the BIN BREAKING Grammy's HEART.  The BUG man cannot come too soon.

Now, on to the BROTHERS.  Grammy overslept today.  As a result of BEING wired about the course she's teaching and BOLSTERED by late-night coffee she was up from Thursday night to Friday morning working on a PowerPoint Presentation.  This,  followed by a BUSY weekend resulted in her waking up late, BLEARY-eyed and even later feeding us this morning. And this despite the tabby-two BOUNCING BOISTEROUSLY as they 'massaged' her BACK.  The old dear was truly BENUMBED!

Can you BELIEVE it?!!!  But once awake she fell into her normal routine.  BUSTED GRAMMY!  It was more important to make the BED BEFORE feeding the starving BEVY.  Well, that was sort of okay with we three girls ... BUT those BROTHERS saw things a little differently.

Etude and Rondo BOUNCED BACK and forth BETWEEN BEDROOM and kitchen in anticipation of what they considered BRUNCH. Forget that long past BREAKFAST thing!  The were going for BREAKFAST and LUNCH in one go.  Then Grammy decided to put her cold BREW into the microwave to reheat (BLECH!) BEFORE feeding the two BOZOS so they started BOXING BUNNY style.   I tell you, those BRAWLING BUCKS are more BOTHER than BENEFIT to Grammy who is now BONKERS.  BELIEVE It or Not every word is true. You have my BOND.

Comments are always welcomed.  Let's keep them light and funny. 

by Etude, adorable gentlecat

As a group we at Mischief and Mayhem Central have decide to start a series called Alphabet Soup.  What can be more comforting than a hot bowl of soup on a cold, winters day!  Soup is definitely Grammys go to.  Ours is ANY place that we can snuggle in and be warm.  Of course, that is AFTER we have had our breakfast.  AND  soup isn't on our menu.  No siree! 

Now a quick reference to and update on last week's blog...Feeling Antsy? ANTS are not Grammy's favourite critter but the good news is... they may be on the decline.  After blogging last week Grammy put down borax and powdered sugar in a small area of the countertop where they kept appearing and blocked it with the paper-towel dispenser and Brita water jug to keep us away from the 'poison'. All it takes is for the ants to walk through the toxic combo to track it into and kill off the nest.

Grammy has noted all week that the number of ants appearing daily is diminishing and the ants that do appear are looking rather peaked (pronounced Peek-Ed), unwell.  Yes, you heard me.  They look paler, less robust, confused and unfocused.  Let's hope this is the beginning of the end of the ANTS.

Now, on to other topics of the "A" persuasion.  Next on our list is ANTICIPATION.  Yesterday we got just a whiff of Spring... but it was enough for Grammy to open windows last evening to let in some fresh and push out the stale, used-up AIR.  Today may be gloomy but that little bit of freshness has given us hope that, like the ants in decline, winter is on the downward slope of the season. 

We feline furballs love spring.  We also love summer and AUTUMN when the windows can be opened and we hear birds singing in the trees and bees buzzing the flowers.   We anticipate this will inspire Rondo to write some more poetry but no promises.  He says he must await the muses.  Now on to more A words...

ANXIOUS... AUNTY E has just arrived.  Who is Aunty E?  She's our cleaning lady. Don't get me wrong.  We are not anxious that she's going to clean.  We love a clean condo... and Aunty E is a lovely, kind lady who absolutely adores us ... but when she is here things get moved around and everything is dusted, washed, scrubbed and ends up spotless and sparkling.  If we didn't hide from her we would be given the same treatment.  *giggles*  The results are wonderful but the issue is... to get there she brings out the Gobble Monster and we are terrified of that fearsome beast and hide until it is put back in its cage.

ADHESIVE or ADVERSARIAL - When Aunt E is here we are either of those two words. We either cling to Grammy like velcro or we attack the girls.  We know that it is wrong to attack Sweetie et al but we do it anyway.  Grammy says it is an issue of being overly stimulated.  Then we get ADMONISHED and are ANGUISHED that she might be upset with us at which time we cuddle up and become Velcro cats.

So, on that note... ADIEU!  It is time to go and cuddle up with Grammy until this upheaval and commotion is over.

Comments are welcomed.  Hopefully they'll be light, funny and/or even silly. 

We LOVE you.