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 Whiskers, Matron of Mischief II by Whiskers, Matron of Mischief II Friends, Hello! Recently, while Sweetie was delving into the distant past I was sifting through a more current box of diaries, papers and photos and just have to share what I read with you. You all know that PussPuss was Grammy's first cat. Well, she was also the first Matron of Mischief, and I am her successor. Grammy says she was a muted tabby but we aren't sure. She looks more like a motley mess of colours all splattered on and then dabbed off. BUT, she has a pretty little face. This is about PussPuss and the trauma of moving from a small city to the big city. There was a major downsizing required for this move. As you might expect, it is more expensive to live in a major city so the cost of the footprint was higher thus a reduction in condo size would be mandatory. Finding one that was 'perfect': perfect location for work and amenities, older but well-maintained with elevators and close to transportation at a price point that worked had been a challenge BUT, she did it. Problem was that as much as Grammy thought she had downsized it wasn't sufficient. In fact, a further reduction of 50% would be needed before life became comfortable but that's for another time. PussPuss didn't handle this change and the clutter well. For the first three weeks Grammy, PussPuss and Malcolm were reduced to walking between piled up boxes of books, furniture, files and 'stuff' to go from kitchen, to bed, to bath, to sofa. It wasn't very nice and it and the previous upheaval of the move took its toll on Puss and Grammy. Malcolm, laid back beyond belief, was actually unperturbed by it all. Grammy got sick with pneumonia and Puss with an ear infection. This story is mainly about Puss and her ear infection. Puss became grumpy, didn't want to be touched, went off her food and looked just plain miserable. New to the city, Grammy was concerned. She had to find a new vet and quickly. With no car she had to choose one that would be convenient to the subway system or short taxi rides since there weren't any within walking distance. Finally, with one clinic close to the subway and able to see them immediately, off they went. The vet was very kind, took a look at Puss, who was uncooperative and with a little ingenuity managed to determine that her ears were infected and would need treatment. BUT without her cooperation this was going to be a challenge. After almost losing a finger, the breast pocket on his uniform and a nasty growl and screech (by Puss, not the vet) the poor veterinarian decided the only way to examine her would be to anaesthetize her. Once under, they cleaned out the ears, treated them with a topical antibiotic but poor Puss had a liver condition and they almost lost her while she was 'under'. They hadn't asked about previous conditions and even if they had Grammy didn't know that anesthetic was not advisable with her liver issues. What a shock!  Malcolm and PussPuss Fortunately she survived and after further monitoring Grammy was allowed to take her home with a 10 day dose of pills. Well, this cantankerous cat (Grammy's description in her diary) was having none of it.
Grammy tried over 2 days to administer the pills. Pill in - pill ejected. Toss to back of throat, spewed back into Grammy's face. slip it in side of mouth and down throat with pointer finger, remove munched finger and watch pill hit the far wall. Slip it into piece of chicken, feed it to Puss, chicken went down the throat while the pill landed in Grammy's lap, try pill syringe, consign syringe to the trash. That pill hit the ceiling before landing on Grammy's cheek. This wasn't working so Grammy decided a lesson in pill administration was needed and both Puss and she went back to the animal clinic. The vet thinking Grammy the ultimate incompetent said with confidence and a hint of smugness he would show her how to use it. Puss spit the pill in his face. After a second attempt and flustered he decided maybe a different method would be better and went for a liquid antibiotic, squirted it down her throat and said he'd be right back. When he returned 10 minutes later he was aghast at the new look of the room. You know the term 'paint the town red'? Well, Puss had transformed the room into a pink bubbly, gooey mess. Yes, thinking she'd been poisoned she did what cats do. She started foaming at the mouth. Pepto-Bismol Pink-coloured bubbles oozed out her mouth, off her chin, onto my coat, down the coat front onto the examination table. Dripping onto the floor it formed a pool around us. Who knew a teaspoon of pink liquid could spread that far and transform a room so completely? The vet was amazed, taken aback, frustrated. Yet despite this he laughed before calling in a colleague for a second opinion. There was no way to get around it, liquid medication wasn't going to work either. That left only one other option: Injections. Puss would have to be taken to the vet every day for 10 days and the on-duty vet would give her the injection. They would waive their fee for the visits, charging only for the medication. Now remember, Grammy is sick with pneumonia through all this and the thought of having to go back and forth every day was daunting but there was no choice. Biting the proverbial bullet Grammy decided it would be best and easiest on all if she just taxied there and back... and that is what they did. Puss recovered with one glitch. The needles had to be administered in different places on her shoulders and back because the strong meds could damage her skin cells. Well, unfortunately, someone miscalculated and a second injection was administered one day over the previous day's. That resulted in a plug of skin and fur dropping out leaving a hole in her back....GROSS! Further treatment with a special topical powder healed that. Eventually the hole filled in but fur never grew back. Well, we could live with that but what an experience! By the time this adventure was over Christmas was only a few days away and with nowhere else to be Grammy felt the need to do something about Christmas in the condo. BUT it was in disarray, boxes everywhere. Grammy had to get organized and quickly! First she rented a locker from condo management and moved much of the clutter into the locker to sort later. Then with the rooms decluttered and organized and with room to move she felt they were finally home. Being home meant a celebration was in order so, bundling up warmly she toddled off to the grocers for all the fixings and a wee turkey. She could rest and recuperate after Christmas! Christmas day was quiet but good. Turkey was resting on a plate gravy was bubbling on the stove, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, mixed vegetables, turkey stuffing keeping warm in the oven. Three place mats, 2 cat dishes and a place setting of cutlery, china plate, crystal tumbler for her milk and a bowl of cranberry sauce and all was ready for dinner. The three of them sat down to a sumptuous meal, Grammy at her place and PussPuss and Malcolm allowed this once on the table had theirs. Life was perfect and so was the turkey. Dear friends, We love to hear your comments and will respond to them. Let's keep them light and fun.
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 By Sweetie, reporter of things past. Hello friends, Do I have a tale for you... one that you might find hard to believe. When I went into the boxes of old stuff from Grammy's past I found out that Grammy had a bunny.... actually, she's had a few bunnies but let me tell you about her first, Puffy. Now, Puffy (or Puff as Grammy often called him) was just a wee baby when Grammy got him. Fluffy, white and pink in colour Grammy thought he was a girl so she called him PowderPuff. But, finding out he was a boy she couldn't call him such a fluffy name so she changed it to Puffy and said it was because he was rather puffy at the nether end. *giggles* Back then, a gazillion years ago, bunnies were not neutered or spayed as they are today. AND this little fellow had hormones racing through him which meant he was always on the hunt for love. Grammy's ankle seemed the perfect mate when he was in a romantic mood. Grammy on the other hand was rather indignant by such behaviour. Grammy loved the little dude as a little bunny dude, but it was just plain rude to take advantage of her ankle. Oh, Grammy! What a silly you are. *giggles again* Well, Puffy, the little white bunny, spent all his time with Grammy. When she went camping, he went camping, when she visited friends or family, he visited those friends and family. The only times he didn't accompany Grammy were when she went to work or for groceries or on long distance vacations. Puffy was a funny little mite who grew into a 13 pound, long-eared cuddlebunny. As a baby he was harness trained, loved to be cuddled, would fall asleep in Grammy's arms and as an adult would snore as he slept. He was the talk of the neighbourhood. Everyone loved the little white bunny with personality to spare. But, let me tell you about the time he didn't hop beside Grammy like a polite little bunny. Now it isn't his fault. He was excited to be on his leash and going for a walk and just wanted to binky (unexpected sudden sideways hops). On this particular day they were camping near Lake Erie, Puff was in his cage anxious to get out and play. After a short afternoon shower Grammy put him in his harness for a romp in a nearby field. Both were excited to be outdoors and Puff bounced his way across the campground and into the open field. Suddenly he binkied in front of Grammy causing her to lose her balance. Her foot slipped in the damp grass, hit a clump of grass and dirt and she buckled with a 'snap'. Worried about Puff she held onto him until someone could take the leash and take him back to his cage. Knowing he was safe, not in pain herself and not realizing there was a problem she stood up, heard a louder 'snap' and watched her leg bones separate just above the ankle She fell over once more. Long story short, Grammy's 2 leg bones were now in 5 pieces. But that wasn't determined until later. But Puffy was safe. That was all that mattered.  Next was to have the leg treated, so, into a vehicle and off to the nearest hospital. The hospital was a small cottage hospital not equipped for what they saw in the x-rays... so that meant a longer trip into the city an hour or more away. Packed into a blow-up cast and given something for pain, the next 'leg' *giggles* of the journey began.
Long story short, Grammy needed surgery, knew the nurses in the operating room -members of her church and was teased about how a sweet wee bunny broke her leg. A few days in hospital and months of physiotherapy and Grammy was almost back to normal and the bunny survived. So let's get back to Puff... Another thing Puffy loved was to play in his cage... a 10 foot by 2 by 3 foot wood framed and wire meshed thing put together by Grammy. One day Grammy set a foil turkey pan in the cage. Puffy decided it was the perfect tool to entertain himself at night. Two stories above, in her bedroom, Grammy could hear him dragging the foil pan to one end of the cage. Then he would take a flying leap onto it and slide it to the other end of the cage where it stopped with a kerplunk. This would go on repeatedly through the night each and every night. Drag, scrape, rattle rattle , kerplunk. Drag, scrape, rattle rattle , kerplunk over and over again. What a scamp. AND when Grammy had to be away for whatever reason Grammy's mom would bunny sit. She was forewarned that he was a scamp and he loved to chew things - wires, carpet, rope, wood and if she let him out of the cage HE SHOULD BE CLOSELY SUPERVISED. Emphasis on CLOSELY!!! Grammy returned to find out GreatGrammy hadn't listened and her telephone wire and stereo speaker wires were chewed. The bunny was busy scamp and GreatGrammy was an unhappy bunny sitter. Shoulda listened!!!! There's more in those archive boxes (like Twink and Wendell and Peaches and others) but we're out of time today. Let's save them for another blog. Friends, we love to hear from you so please leave comments here and we'll reply... but let's keep it light and fun.  By Rondo, Poet and Balladeer Hello friends... A couple of Fridays ago we featured Sadie on our Facebook page. She is a friend who doesn't have a page of her own so we felt it would be nice to share her with all of our friends. She's a lovely little lady. One morning Grammy was chatting to me about her.... you know how Grammy's are! blah! blah! ....sweet, adorable... blah *eyes roll* … blah! blah! well behaved blah! blah! undemanding blah! Well, I tuned out as you can imagine... until she finally got to the good stuff. Then I was all ears. Imagine... a one cat household and still she has to be a little conniver and work at getting her own way Who'd have thought? A lady after my own heart. AND she and Grammy are best buddies! No, scratch that! She and Grammy are ______ ... well read on and you fill in the blank.  Sadie
A little kitty of calico persuasion Makes the most of ev’ry occasion From morn to night she loves to nap On bed, on chair, on mommy’s lap. Sadie’s her name and she is sweet Her favourite game - to snaffle a treat. Though mommy is careful to watch her weight Sweet Sadie is quick her mummy to bait. She sits on the floor head facing her bowl Hoping Mum will succumb, doesn’t she know? More kibble is wanted before her next nap Or she’ll waste away to the size of a gnat. Mummy sees the sad little lady Thinks, puss is deprived, my poor wee Sadie. Have some kibble to fill empty tummy Don’t cry, eat this I think it’s quite yummy. Worked again, works every time To snaffle treats, it’s so sublime. Mum’s a softy, when I bat my eyes And twitch my tail I get the prize. But there is another side to the wee lady... Spa Day, No Way Sadie dislikes when Grammy makes visits; Knows the old girl will clip her digits Oh woe! She’ll trim the wee claws, the nasty one Then bribe precious princess when she is done. But Sadie, the wise one won’t fall for this trick To try to bribe, Now that is so sick By such an attempt as using a biscuit ‘Tis criminal, to bamboozle this kittlet. Nevermore will she be forgiven For snippin’ her nails; it is forbidden To trim them off. It is the last straw Her pins are needed to climb and to claw. But treat o’er there it looks so yummy Be even better when in my tummy Just this once I think I shall gnosh But still won’t forgive the nail-trim boss. © Whiskers, Mouse, Sweetie, Etude & Rondo - Mischief and Mayhem Central Well friends, that's another one. You know I love to hear your comments. Please leave your thoughts here and/or on Facebook and we will respond...but let's keep it light and fun.  by Mousie, Reporter of terrible, horrible stuffs Happy Monday, friends. I have to tell you about our terrible horrible day. It was terrible and horrible. Really it was. Okay you need a little background first. It all started a gazillion days ago... like in the middle of winter when we had lots of snow. Do you all remember we reported on Facebook that Grammy had a leak where melted snow seeped in from the balcony under the new kitchen floor tiles and into the diningroom lifting the newly finished hardwood floor? Well, the maintenance superintendent was worried. So worried he investigated immediately. Long story short, he identified where the water was seeping in. He advised Grammy to keep that side of the balcony shoveled and came back with his spade to clear the area that night. Yes, he's a super super! Teehee. Next morning he returned to make sure everything was drying up. On inspecting the balcony further he noticed where the caulking had come loose and said he'd arrange for someone to come in spring to recaulk the balcony floor where the leak was. In the meantime in the diningroom Grammy put down towels and weighed them down with tool boxes and anything else that would keep the hardwood from warping. By morning the worst of the wet had dried and fresh towels put down remained dry. Phew! The new floor was saved. Well, next day Grammy went out and bought the same shovel (seeing as how it was super too, just like the super super) and kept the balcony clear for the rest of the winter and spring - right up to the last snowfall a month ago. CRAZY right? Almost the end of April and we had more snow. True to his word, Bill, the superintendent arranged for the caulking repair for early May. So that is the background and brings me to the terrible horrible day. Grammy was advised that the repair work would be done Wednesday and/or Thursday and to be sure that we were safe in the bedroom. The workmen would not do the work if we were loose in the hoose. *Giggle* Well, Grammy got up, had her shower and got ready to go to her volunteer work after feeding us. THEN when she was ready to go she put out a big bowl of water on a boot tray IN THE BEDROOM. Something she never does because the boys splash the water all over the floor. Woohoo! Something new to entertain us! AND she set up a large bowl of kibble in there too.  tool boxes weigh down the hardwood Now, you know normally we are separated during meal times... boys in the kitchen and diningroom and the girls in the bedroom. This joint meal was going to be a bonus for the boys since they aren't normally free fed while we are. That's because we girls aren't gluttons. Woohoo! The boys were dancing for joy!
And how does she manage this separation? With a cat flap in the bedroom door. We girls are allowed to come and go as we please but the boys are too chubby to get through the door flap. The boys were dancing for joy as I just said. Free feeding. Woohoo! Little did we know what was coming. Oh... a little aside here..... Etude tried to go through the cat flap once and got stuck. Grammy had to rescue him as he straddled head and front paws hanging on the bedroom side while butt, hind legs and tail hung on the hall side. It was too funny! Just picture Winnie the Pooh stuck in Rabbit's hole. That was our Etude. Bulging in the middle of his tummy. Teehee. Luckily we didn't need to leave him there until he lost weight like Pooh. No! Grammy braced his hind feet and pushed his butt through to the bedroom side with a sluuurp, kerplunk. Embarrassed, he slunk into the diningroom after Grammy opened the door and headed straight for his feed bowl. Yep! That's our Etude. But he's never tried to go through the cat flap again and Rondo, quick learner that he is, decided he wouldn't bother embarrassing himself. Teehee. So back to our terrible horrible day... Once Grammy put out the food we all gathered around for a chow and she sneaked out of the bedroom and closed the door trapping us inside. She'd even latched the flap so we girls couldn't escape. NASTY GRAMMY! We rattled the door and called to her to let us out, sang the song of our people to alert the neighbours of the abuse, but she ignored us, the neighbours ignored us and Grammy left for her volunteer work with our plaintive howls in her ears. To no avail! We were ignored! Boohoo! THEN the noisy man arrived, let himself in, tromped to the balcony and proceeded to scrape and bump around out there. We could hear him and called to him that we were trapped. We rattled the cat flap and meowed as loud as we could. Please let us out! PLEASE! But he ignored our thrashing and wailing while he worked. When he was done though, he did open our door. Grammy had left a note to ask him to release us. Phew. Finally we were free. What a terrible, horrible day! But there's more. Grammy arrived home and we were scattered around the livingroom enjoying our freedom. NASTY Grammy for locking us up. The good thing is that the balcony floor against the wall is recaulked and should be leak free next winter. Yahoo. No, that's not the end of or Terrible Horrible Day. Grammy ignored us, didn't give us any treats or special food and wouldn't pet us when she arrived home. She said she was exhausted, needed a nap and proceeded to stretch out on her bed for a gazillion hours. No play time for us. That's just mean, abusive, don't you think? THEN!!!! At bedtime Grammy closed the balcony doors so we couldn't enjoy the fresh night air. She said there were raccoons fighting in the courtyard and it wasn't safe because they could climb walls and might come onto our balcony and screens could be torn. Well, we thought we could have a party with them since we'd had such a terrible, horrible day but she said, NO PARTY!!! Yes, with three exclamation marks. Party pooper!!! We can do three exclamation marks too. So there! She said if they were fighting it was probably mating season or they had babies and they would be aggressive. And we fluffballs were no match for a bunch of masked marauders. Harrumph! *giggle* Etude says the harrumph sounds funny coming from a little mousie girl. Harrumph, Etude! *giggles again* So we were trapped all day, no playtime with Grammy and then suffocated all night. She's so mean. Maybe we need to search for a new Can Opener/Pooper Scooper/Wand Wielder. Any takers? We pay well! What, Sweetie? CO/PS/WW pays us? Oh! So friends, you would pay us with treats. Yes, treats! Oh! That sounds great. Bring treats if you want the job. Oh, and when Grammy was napping, we inspected her knitting. Teehee... someone, name not disclosed but starts with a squiggly capital letter, SHE nibbled through an exposed bit of yarn.... on a seamless, supposedly one ball, single strand sweater that then required a join... But that's a story for another time. Yikes! Maybe things were not so terribly horrible after-all - at least not as terribly horrible as when Grammy sees the sweater, that is. Yikes. What do you think? Friends, comments are welcomed. AND the site is supposedly fixed. So please leave comments, we love to hear from you, our readers. Keep it light and fun. |
AuthorFive Cats, Five Personalities, One Goal - Mischief & Mayhem. Archives
December 2022
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