by Mousie, Reporter of terrible, horrible stuffs
Happy Monday, friends. I have to tell you about our terrible horrible day. It was terrible and horrible. Really it was.
Okay you need a little background first.
It all started a gazillion days ago... like in the middle of winter when we had lots of snow. Do you all remember we reported on Facebook that Grammy had a leak where melted snow seeped in from the balcony under the new kitchen floor tiles and into the diningroom lifting the newly finished hardwood floor? Well, the maintenance superintendent was worried. So worried he investigated immediately. Long story short, he identified where the water was seeping in. He advised Grammy to keep that side of the balcony shoveled and came back with his spade to clear the area that night. Yes, he's a super super! Teehee.
Next morning he returned to make sure everything was drying up. On inspecting the balcony further he noticed where the caulking had come loose and said he'd arrange for someone to come in spring to recaulk the balcony floor where the leak was.
In the meantime in the diningroom Grammy put down towels and weighed them down with tool boxes and anything else that would keep the hardwood from warping. By morning the worst of the wet had dried and fresh towels put down remained dry. Phew! The new floor was saved.
Well, next day Grammy went out and bought the same shovel (seeing as how it was super too, just like the super super) and kept the balcony clear for the rest of the winter and spring - right up to the last snowfall a month ago. CRAZY right? Almost the end of April and we had more snow. True to his word, Bill, the superintendent arranged for the caulking repair for early May. So that is the background and brings me to the terrible horrible day.
Grammy was advised that the repair work would be done Wednesday and/or Thursday and to be sure that we were safe in the bedroom. The workmen would not do the work if we were loose in the hoose. *Giggle*
Well, Grammy got up, had her shower and got ready to go to her volunteer work after feeding us. THEN when she was ready to go she put out a big bowl of water on a boot tray IN THE BEDROOM. Something she never does because the boys splash the water all over the floor. Woohoo! Something new to entertain us! AND she set up a large bowl of kibble in there too.
Now, you know normally we are separated during meal times... boys in the kitchen and diningroom and the girls in the bedroom. This joint meal was going to be a bonus for the boys since they aren't normally free fed while we are. That's because we girls aren't gluttons. Woohoo! The boys were dancing for joy!
And how does she manage this separation? With a cat flap in the bedroom door. We girls are allowed to come and go as we please but the boys are too chubby to get through the door flap. The boys were dancing for joy as I just said. Free feeding. Woohoo! Little did we know what was coming. Oh... a little aside here.....
Etude tried to go through the cat flap once and got stuck. Grammy had to rescue him as he straddled head and front paws hanging on the bedroom side while butt, hind legs and tail hung on the hall side. It was too funny! Just picture Winnie the Pooh stuck in Rabbit's hole. That was our Etude. Bulging in the middle of his tummy. Teehee. Luckily we didn't need to leave him there until he lost weight like Pooh.
No! Grammy braced his hind feet and pushed his butt through to the bedroom side with a sluuurp, kerplunk. Embarrassed, he slunk into the diningroom after Grammy opened the door and headed straight for his feed bowl. Yep! That's our Etude. But he's never tried to go through the cat flap again and Rondo, quick learner that he is, decided he wouldn't bother embarrassing himself. Teehee.
So back to our terrible horrible day...
Once Grammy put out the food we all gathered around for a chow and she sneaked out of the bedroom and closed the door trapping us inside. She'd even latched the flap so we girls couldn't escape. NASTY GRAMMY! We rattled the door and called to her to let us out, sang the song of our people to alert the neighbours of the abuse, but she ignored us, the neighbours ignored us and Grammy left for her volunteer work with our plaintive howls in her ears. To no avail! We were ignored! Boohoo!
THEN the noisy man arrived, let himself in, tromped to the balcony and proceeded to scrape and bump around out there. We could hear him and called to him that we were trapped. We rattled the cat flap and meowed as loud as we could. Please let us out! PLEASE! But he ignored our thrashing and wailing while he worked. When he was done though, he did open our door. Grammy had left a note to ask him to release us. Phew. Finally we were free. What a terrible, horrible day! But there's more.
Grammy arrived home and we were scattered around the livingroom enjoying our freedom. NASTY Grammy for locking us up. The good thing is that the balcony floor against the wall is recaulked and should be leak free next winter. Yahoo.
No, that's not the end of or Terrible Horrible Day. Grammy ignored us, didn't give us any treats or special food and wouldn't pet us when she arrived home. She said she was exhausted, needed a nap and proceeded to stretch out on her bed for a gazillion hours. No play time for us. That's just mean, abusive, don't you think?
THEN!!!! At bedtime Grammy closed the balcony doors so we couldn't enjoy the fresh night air. She said there were raccoons fighting in the courtyard and it wasn't safe because they could climb walls and might come onto our balcony and screens could be torn.
Well, we thought we could have a party with them since we'd had such a terrible, horrible day but she said, NO PARTY!!! Yes, with three exclamation marks. Party pooper!!! We can do three exclamation marks too. So there!
She said if they were fighting it was probably mating season or they had babies and they would be aggressive. And we fluffballs were no match for a bunch of masked marauders. Harrumph! *giggle* Etude says the harrumph sounds funny coming from a little mousie girl. Harrumph, Etude! *giggles again*
So we were trapped all day, no playtime with Grammy and then suffocated all night. She's so mean. Maybe we need to search for a new Can Opener/Pooper Scooper/Wand Wielder. Any takers? We pay well!
What, Sweetie? CO/PS/WW pays us? Oh! So friends, you would pay us with treats. Yes, treats! Oh! That sounds great. Bring treats if you want the job.
Oh, and when Grammy was napping, we inspected her knitting. Teehee... someone, name not disclosed but starts with a squiggly capital letter, SHE nibbled through an exposed bit of yarn.... on a seamless, supposedly one ball, single strand sweater that then required a join... But that's a story for another time. Yikes!
Maybe things were not so terribly horrible after-all - at least not as terribly horrible as when Grammy sees the sweater, that is. Yikes. What do you think?
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Five Cats, Five Personalities, One Goal - Mischief & Mayhem.