By Rondo, the handsome one, chronicler of mischief and mayhem
So, friends, this is how it all went down, unfortunately...
We followed our plan. You remember, readers... to read Mousie’s diary, find out all we can about how to treat a lady kitty?
... Surely we could glean much from Mousie’s notes.
We expected it’d be Cheffy this and Cheffy that, lots of sighs and his name scribbled in margins, hearts with arrows, exes and ohhs. AND we were right but then, what do you expect from a love struck giiiirl! On the other hand, there ought to be something we could use.
And so, the plan was to jot down what we learn and figure out how to apply it to Etude’s lady-squeeze. *giggles*
Hope Etude doesn’t read this... he’s rather particular. She is his lady friend/adventuress, but truth be told he likes her a lot. I’ve seen him blush. But then, he’s not backward about getting in a tentative cuddle and a wee peck on her furry little cheek too. Oops, hope her momma doesn’t read this.
Okay, I digress... back to The Plan...
We dotted our t's and crossed our eyes and we were about to embark...
The old crone would be happy she wasn’t being pestered and would sleep until the cows came home... if we had cows... Well, we are cow kitties and if we stay away she should be out until mid-day tomorrow. WE WERE READY to ROLL!
So, into Mousie’s spotlessly clean and tidy room we crept and straight for her memory box on the nightstand. WHAT? Her diary wasn’t there! Under the bed? No! Under the mattress? pillow? No! No! Nightstand? NO! This is serious!
Chifforobe? Not there either! Hope she didn’t take it with her! After more searching through drawers and in her reading closet/nook we finally located it.... BEHIND the Chifforobe tucked into a manila envelope taped to the back.
Sneaky Mousie, really sneaky! You’d think she was onto her brothers. Distrustful little brat! Pffffft! Well, we showed you!
So, diary in paw we scampered to her bed for a good study. This is what we read...
‘Oh Cheffy, you are such a sweetheart.......’
Oh good grief. Piffle! Girls and their daydreaming. Stop with the hearts and kisses already! We need the meat in this sandwich.
WHAT? Oh, look, Etude! Cheffy kissed her? On the cheek? How forward can you get on a first date!
Lucky Grammy didn’t know or he’d have been shown the door lickety-split and that would be the end of the old maid’s love life.
You don’t think so? Oh, Whiskers was willing to pawn her off on any old duffer? I don’t think so. No, Etude, not likely. Remember she was chaperoned closely for the first few dates...
Oh, okay. Right... down to business, we don’t have much time. *They turn the page*
Here... look, he sent flowers to Grammy and to Mousie. Write that down...
Look here... She carried the suitcases up all those steps to the hotel.
Next page... *Eyes wide in astonishment*
He bought Pretty in Pink (his jet) to take her places. Oh no, we can’t afford a jet. We can’t even afford a skateboard, let alone a hover-board.
Oh and food... Remember, Etude? She left skinny and returned rotund. He fed her halibut cheeks and she went nuts over them.
We turned the page....
WHAT? What is this? What’s going on here?
And again and more of the same on the next page.
EVERY PAGE was was filled with gobbledy gook ...
€₼₾№Ω∆∏№Ω₤ﬂζβηηЅЉЊЎ€₼₾№Ω∆∏№Ω₤ﬂζβηηЅЉЊЎ€₼₾№Ω∆∏№Ω₤ﬂζβηηЅ ЉЊЎ€₼₾№Ω∆∏№Ω₤ﬂζβηηЅЉЊЎ€₼₾№Ω∆∏№Ω₤ﬂζβηηЅЉЊЎ€₼₾№Ω€₼₾№Ω∆ №Ω₤ﬂζβηηЅЉЊЎ€₼₾№Ω∆∏№Ω₤ﬂζβηηЅЉЊЎ€₼₾№Ω∆∏№Ω₤ﬂζβηηЅ
A lot of scribblings and little drawings...
Silly cats, cats with their tongues sticking out, cats laughing, cats rolling on the floor laughing.
She’d started writing in code. How could she? The little brat! We started to think she’d gone mad but,
Then we turned to the second last page and saw real writing again. Whew! Okay, she got tired of her code...
WHAT? they read on...*****
Gotcha boys! When I heard you hiding in my closet I knew something was up. Why do you think I left the room so soon after. Huh? You think I’m not too bright. Well, guess what!
I figured you must have found my diary. I’m not stupid. What else would you be nosy enough to be after?
When you’d gone I checked thoroughly. As I was always very particular how I placed it in my memory box. I could tell it was disturbed and then I KNEW you terrors were up to mischief. For certain, I did.
AND that’s when I hatched my plan and waited...
You’ll never find my real diary.
Well friends.... We’ve been had! Now what?
Friends, we welcome comments. but let's keep it clean and fun.
By Rondo, the handsome one, chronicler of mischief and mayhem
So, where were we? Oh yes!
I, Rondo the Brilliant, determined we might hit a gold mine of information from Mousie's diary on ‘how to treat lady kitties..
Now, don't get me wrong. I am only doing this for my brother. I think girls are too much trouble but Etude’s been smitten by the arrow of Eros. Sad but true.
Oh no, I don’t think so.... not this time buddy boy! Readers... ignore that paragraph. I’m writing this one.
By Sweetie, the good girl and chronicler of naughty boys
Okay, so Mousie went on a trip last Tuesday to the UK with her Cheffy (aka Little Boy Cat) and the rest of us were just hanging out in the livingroom with Grammy. Whiskers and Grammy were deep in conversation when I noticed the ears twitch on those sleeping boys. Then they winked at each other. Hmmm.
A few minutes later they both gave a big after-nap stretch and Rondo sidled over to me with a.......
“Hey Sweetie, you haven’t been to visit Monty, Aunty Joanna and family for a while, have you!” We’re feeling a little sad for you with Mousie away. What say we pay your bus fare so you can have a little vacation? Eh? What do you say? Wouldn’t you enjoy that?”
Well, I may be the youngest but I wasn’t born yesterday and on top of that something was smelling a little fishy here (and it wasn’t my bunnytail tuna cookies) but I played along because, truth be told... those boys are always up to some form of mischief. So, being the cool kitten I am...
“Oh wow! How thoughtful of you both! I would love to visit with Aunty Joanna and the family... and especially Monty. You’d do that for me? Pay for my ticket? Wow, how sweet of you both. I just made bunnytail cookies. I’ll take some along.”
And I noticed another surreptitious wink and a whisper of a snicker. Something is cooking ... but I carry on, pack my overnight and the cookies and then I overhear..........
“Grammy, you do so much for us. How you doing? Tired? Would you like a cuppa before bed? You would? Great! We’ll make it for you. We know, Grammy. It is unusual but you deserve a little TLC... and we’d love to treat you.”
I think to myself, odd! Really odd! So I tiptoe out to the kitchen to see what they are up to and ...
Rondo is pouring hot water into Grammy’s cup of Wild Sweet Orange tea while Etude slips a teaspoon of something into it.
“Hey, what you doing?” I ask.
Both boys jump about 3 feet off the floor and the teacup goes flying. “Nothing, honest. Just making Grammy the perfect cuppa. Now we'll have to make another."
"What did you put in that tea?”
“Oh, just a bit of Manuka honey! Thought Grammy would like a little before bed time. It’s healthy for her.”
To myself I say, “Okaaaay! then I think.. maybe I’m too hard on them. They sounded really sweet. *giggles* Honey, sweet! *shakes head* Could it be they’re finally growing up... Maybe Etude’s new girl interest has changed him into a responsible young fellow and he’s rubbing off on Rondo. How lovely! It’s about time!
Like I said, I’m not a newbie at kitten mischief but I thought lighten up, Sweetie. They’re finally growing up.
So I said good-bye to Grammy and Whiskers, gave the boys a big hug and took their pocket change for my ticket and left slipping the spare house key in my pocket and whistling a merry tune. Bought my ticket, got on the GoTransit bus heading northward and settled in for the trip.
About half way to Aunty Joanna’s I was going over the past few days and putting things together...
1. The boys were in cohoots over something... they’ve been whispering together for days.
2. Mousie’s away.
3. They paid my ticket to go visiting Aunty J. So now I’m away.
4. They made tea for Grammy. – a first!
5. AND put something in Grammy’s tea... and now I’m thinking maybe it isn’t honey. Oh no! They wouldn’t poison her! NO, must be something else. A sleeping potion? - and now Grammy’s ‘AWAY?’
6. Well, there's still Whiskers to keep an eye on them. BUT, Whiskers sleeps most of the day and all night... and SNORES like a Sailor. So no sleeping potion needed for her... Whiskers is most likely ‘away’ too!
7. They are essentially unsupervised! Alone! .... MISCHIEF is definitely AFOOT....
I had to get home. “STOP THE BUS!!!”
Well, that wasn’t going to happen. Driver said, “Set yourself down, Miss! Let you off at our next stop.” And that was that! Well, I huffed and puffed and tapped my toes for the next ten kilometres, but the old geezer at the wheel just ignored me.
As soon as the bus stopped and being the spry kitten I am, I jumped the seat backs, scampered past the slowpokes and off the bus lickety split. Hit the Presto machine for a return ticket and ran for the return bus.... Too late!
Well, that next hour was awful. Felt like ten. I paced, and huffed and puffed some more, wondering what could be going on at home. I had to stop imagining the horrors....
Well, let me tell you... When I got in it was already too late! Mousie’s room was tossed topsy-turvy and I found a list on the floor.
Those boys had ransacked Mousie’s room looking for her diary, found it and were reading and taking notes when I walked in on them... They tried to hide it but...
When I saw what they were doing, shame on me, I joined them. I wanted to know what she wrote too.
Well they do say, curiousity killed the cat and I wasn’t about to die. No siree bob.
So, stay tuned for what we learned... but not a word to Mousie.
Oh, Grammy? Sleeping like a top, whatever that means! At least she’s still breathing... so we’re okay.
By Rondo, the handsome one, chronicler of mischief and mayhem
Okay friends, so you must have been wondering where we, the M&M crew at Mischief and Mayhem Central got to…
Truth is Mousie’s head is forever in the clouds, Sweetie has made it her duty to chase away the imaginary critters that invade our condo and when all is safe she moves on to teasing us. Whiskers is in her dotage and sleeps all day.
That just leaves us and we have been busy.... Yes, we enterprising boys....
Well, we got lost in the archives for quite a long time and then after having been stranded in Mousie’s closet forever we decided researching and snooping were not wise occupations for two growing, handsome dudes and we moved on to other endeavours (aka adventures).
If you remember, Mousie danced into the room (see Invasion of the Interlopers) twirling and humming and hardly left for three days while we were stuck hiding in her closet. Yes, three days. Well, maybe it wasn’t three days. Maybe it was three hours. Oh, alright, it was three minutes before she twirled out to remind Grammy and Whiskers she had another dream date with her dreamboat and we made our escape unscathed. Whew that was close! Girls! Mush! We almost starved to death.
When Grammy saw the state we were in she was so worried she brought out the scale… and we’d lost a whopping 4 (yes four) milligrams... practically anorexic.
What’s that Grammy? You weighed us because you thought we’d gained? Delusional, Grammy! Memo to Etude.... we gotta start looking up a senior facility for the old dear.
Who's telling this anyway? Pfft!
Now, where was I going with this? Oh yeah! We disappeared for a lonnnnnnnng time but we are back…at least for today. So, Rondo here to tell you what is going on in the house of mischief. Here goes....
ETUDE HAS A WEE CRUSH! Yes, you heard me. Etude has had his head turned by a girl kitty. Pathetic, I know… but he’s my brother and I love him despite himself.
So, Etude has met this balladeer- adventuress named Raina BlueMoon. Now, before you go looking her up on Facebook, don’t! She’s too busy adventuring and balladeering to have a page.
We met on one of our adventures. So, like I said, she’s caught Etude’s eye. I must admit I did a double take too but feminine felines (and feminine humans) are a LOT OF WORK. I’ll pass, thank you very much. Bad enough watching him getting his tail in a knot. I’d say knickers but we don’t wear knickers. But then you ought to know that. Silly readers!
So, after a few adventures with the rest of the crew which we posted on Facebook, Etude has decided this young Russian Blue Beauty is a great sport and he’d like to get to know her a little better…. And not wanting to mess up asked for my advice. Well, of course, I suggested taking her to an all you can eat buffet. No, not good enough for the Tude. He wants to treat her ‘special’. Well, I THOUGHT an all you can eat buffet was pretty special... but what do I know?
Well, for that kind of ‘special’ he would need more than my help. So, I suggested he sign up for some etiquette courses… but then that poses another problem. Unlike Mousie’s beau LBC we don’t have deep pockets. Truth be told, even if I kick in my pocket money we’re pretty much broke … barely enough for a tunaburger. And then…
Presto- Zippo! We both had the brilliant idea at the very same moment. Who do we know who is sophisto, debonair, romantic (yuck), and knows how to treat a lady?
That’s right! You’ve got it... Little Boy Cat! Mousie’s beau! Maybe he’d pass along some pointers. Yeah, right! After all our teasing over the years, we daren’t ask him for advice. No siree! Not a good idea. So how could he learn from the master without the master!!! Think! Think! Think!
I’ve got it. Mousie’s Diary…. that’s the ticket. Yes. Nothing like living on the edge.
By Etude, Interloper, (aka Mr Attitude, aka Pinky, aka FuzzyBritches)
Five Cats, Five Personalities, One Goal - Mischief & Mayhem.