By Whiskers, Chief Groomer and reporter of all things related to Cleanliness and Grooming.
It has been a while since you, our readers have heard from me. Of course, with all the shenanigans with the boys, their mischief and Mousie’s clever ruse I have been steering clear. Yes, I have been hiding out in my favourite tent with occasional forays for food and cuddles from Grammy. But, finally I must come out of hiding to relay this latest hoopla from Grammy.
What Grammy? No, I have not come out for frequent forays for food. Goodness me! Who’s writing this anyway? Grammy, this is our blog. So shush!
As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted, ...latest hoopla from Grammy.
Yes, our Grammy has been on a cleaning and grooming binge. Normally it is either Spring or Autumn when normal people do the Spring or Fall cleaning. Not Grammy. At least, not this time.
On a cool day in early summer she went on a cleaning binge preparing for the hot summer when she wouldn’t feel like doing sweat producing cleaning and more importantly, in preparation for the arrival of a friend from Austria.
Now, this friend is not staying with us but she’d be visiting us frequently.... because she absolutely adores me and I think she’s the cat’s pyjamas and so best to get the big cleaning done and then stay on top of it for the duration.
So, that is what happened and the place looked spic ‘n span... Spic ‘n Span just like the cleaning product. NOW That’s Clean! And since then she has kept up with the day to day.... but noticed that she still had to vacuum daily just to manage the drifting waves of fur that we were shedding. Yikes! So that triggered another switch in Grammy’s head and she decided it might be necessary to ‘clean’ us too.
Oh, that is normally my job. I’m chief groomer but in shedding season there’s absolutely no way for one kitty to stay on top of defurring self and four others. No way! At least, no way without major hairball issues and I don’t need those. Oh, and Grammy doesn't like the cleanup if I chuck one at her.
Look out guys. Run. Grammy’s coming. Taking cover.
Mrs M, our Austrian visitor has been to visit once and the boys and I had a wonderful time getting pets and cuddles but this was before the masses of fur started drifting from here to there and all around the condo. Blame a sudden hot spell for that.
Out came Grammy with the Furminator.
Rondo LOVES the Furminator so he did not run. Well, he did run, but not away, he ran straight to Grammy, serenading her while dancing on the spot as Grammy worked from his neck to his tail in short controlled movements.... removing an abundance of undercoat as she went.
By the time she finished Rondo looked slimmer, sleeker and he was one happy dude. Now normally, he would demand more attention but he was satisfied he’d been groomed to the max and settled down for a rest in his well aired and thinned out suit. In no time at all he was napping contentedly.
I decided if he felt that good then maybe this was ideal for me too so I pushed past Etude and took second place. Well, you know, the Matriarch of Mischief has to exercise her authority and show who’s in charge.
Oh Grammy! Hush! I am so in charge of M&M Central... I’m the eldest... so naturally that position falls to me.
Just ignore Grammy and let’s carry on.
My coat is more like thick, rich velvet with an undercoat of more velvet. It takes a lot of work to penetrate the outer layer to get down to the undercoat so Grammy worked on me for more than an hour...
Neck to tail along the spine, neck to tail along left hip, neck to tail along right hip, repeat numerous times, pantaloons, then butt to tip of tail. AND do you believe it... I was still full of undercoat! ... so off she went again... neck to tail... and on and on... until I was completely defurred – almost to the point of baldness. It felt wonderful. I could even feel a breeze on my skin.... ahhhhh! It was delightful! We must do this more often.
Etude and Sweetie followed with the same routine with minor variances until they too were groomed to the skin and when Grammy got done she had four piles of fur... which when set down on the table looked like three kitties and actually weighed almost a half ounce. Now that’s a lot of fur!
And where was Mousie during all this? Observing. She never needs a Grammy groom. The little darling does her own superbly, though I do check behind and between the ears.
Grammy was feeling pretty good having gotten through this with nary a scratch so she decided she must be charmed. Why not clip claws while she’s at it.
Charmed.... NOT! Delusional more like... but at least this time she listened to me and agreed to have a friend help.
Enter Jewel. And Jewel is exactly that.... a real gem and a dear neighbour.
Well, claw trimming is an experience, let me tell you.
Grammy prepared the well padded dining table and they went to work! I, Whiskers, ever the seeker of cuddles and such was happy to oblige and purred through the entire ordeal. I was even willing to stay for more pets and cuddles if people so wished.... But alas, no! More to do and duty called. Pooh! Maybe later?
Next up, before he could be spooked was Rondo! Our Rondo howls in pain when his claws are trimmed. It seems that some animals, like some humans have sensitivities that cannot be explained. Rondo is one of these sensitive dudes. So, knowing that Jewel donned Grammy’s spare oven mitts to protect her from teeth and talons, held him gently but firmly over the shoulders and front legs and kept her face turned away.
Why the head turn, you say? Grammy’s scars can attest to his lightning reaction should things go amiss.
So Grammy decided to trim those sensitive beasties before he realized what was happening! Amazingly, he didn't howl like a banshee. Is it possible the anticipation is worse than the actual dirty deed? Those clipped, the other eight were snipped lickety-split and with only two weak howls of protest he was done! No attempt to take Jewel’s face off, nor to slice Grammy’s arm elbow to wrist. Yahoo!
Etude followed with minimal fuss only a bit of wiggling on his portly part to advise he was still boss of his own claws, so there! Well, they still got trimmed, Etude! So there!
Sweetie insisted on a cuddle and kisses before submitting to the indignity and then demanded a second round of kisses before being set back on the floor! Grammy never refuses Sweetie her kisses.
Then it came to Mousie's turn! The little minx, on hearing Jewel's voice when she first arrived had slunk off into the bedroom her antennae on high alert. When Grammy finally entered the room she slithered off the bed and hid under it and refused to budge. So Grammy let her be FOR NOW, and plotted with Jewel for the following morning and Round 2!
The morning was quiet, kitties sleeping around the livingroom, Mousie relaxing on the sofa. The phone call came; Grammy unlocked the door and set it slightly ajar. Jewel entered silently and yet, in a split second Mousie was GONE behind the sofa! No problem... pull out the sofa an inch or so and she’d scoot out the other end. And she did. Right past us and into the bedroom. Once she was there the dance was on!
Now, we must tell you Mousie is not afraid of Grammy! She just doesn't like to be picked up, thus the avoidance game.
From under the head of the bed, which Grammy moved, Mousie scampered to the Kitty condo and into the smallest enclosure. Claws dug in it was impossible to extract her through the condo doorway. Grammy had no choice. She’d have to wait until Mousie came out on her own... but let’s close the bedroom door to keep her contained. Moments later Mousie scrambled down from the condo, slipped behind the outpulled bed and scrunched into her safe spot- the one place she feels safest and which Grammy only enters for reasons of safety or absolute necessity... Behind a blanket on HER very own CHAIR.
Grammy, as I say, only intrudes if Mousie’s safety is at risk or she needs meds... but never willy-nilly nor on a whim. This is Mousie’s equivalency to having a security blanket. Seldom do any of we other cats venture there either. It’s an unwritten law that Mousie owns the chair and we respect that.
Okay, so back to Grammy...
Entering her nest was absolutely necessary. The claws were catching on everything and they were so curled that Grammy feared they might hurt her pads if they grew any longer. So...blocking the exit with one hand, Grammy scooped her up with the other and brought her out of the bedroom to the table. Being a gentle wee miss, once Grammy had her, she resigned herself to whatever would follow and with Jewel holding her gently Grammy trimmed those razor sharp needles without incident. What a relief for everyone.
The bonus? Once the claws were trimmed and Jewel released her Mousie stayed for pets and cuddles! This was the first time Jewel had ever gotten to see the little beauty in all the years she'd been visiting! And Mousie? Well, she looked around calmly and soaked up the attention for 30 seconds before joining me under a chair in my observation post.
House clean, cats groomed, all Grammy’s digits intact, all claws trimmed... 50 of them... and no blood drawn. It was a good day.
Have a great week friends! We love you all to bits.
Friends, we welcome comments. but let's keep it fun.
Mischief and Mayhem Central 2020
Five Cats, Five Personalities, One Goal - Mischief & Mayhem.