Into the Archives IX: Things that Go Bump in the Night

by Mousie, Researcher of Miscellaneous Trivia

​Hello, everyone.  There, that took care of the Good Morning, Afternoon or Evening dilemma.  Hello, friends.  I'm back with another funny tale.  A short one this time. 

As you'll know if you read last week's blog Grammy went camping in her youth and adulthood before she got 'old' and crotchety.  And in that tale you heard about sassy Mr Skunk. Well, that wasn't the end of her encounters with animals that night.

​Once Mr Skunk had huffed and puffed and wandered off to feast in other campsites they (Grammy & her friend) settled down to a peaceful evening before the campfire.  Fortunately, vegetation was lush and wet so fires were permitted.  But this had its downside too.  That same lush vegetation was a breeding ground for mosquitoes and they were plentiful.  In fact, they were more than plentiful.  There were squadrons of them and they were all out and about on foraging missions.  What were they foraging for, you ask? Why fuel, of course.... and that fuel was high-octane blood of which Grammy had plenty.

For the most part the smoky campfire kept the mosquitoes at bay and that suited Grammy quite well.  Grammy disliked those buzzy critters with a passion.  While lower legs and arms were generally safe from the blood suckers most took great delight in tangling themselves in hair and dive-bombing ears, cheeks, forehead and thick juicy thighs.  Nasty beasties. 

What was unfair though was that not one of those critters bothered her friend.  She could never understand that.  Why ignore one and concentrate on another?  Maybe thick curly hair and hairy limbs protected her friend but Grammy's rich blood and delicate skin were an easier target.  But we won't dwell on this.  This isn't the tale I was going to tell.... so here goes.

After an hour of star gazing two tired campers settled into their sleeping bags expecting to sleep through til morning.  At some point in the night a loud commotion woke both. Suddenly on high alert, Grammy grabbed a flashlight, unzipped the tent flap while friend took up an ax and a second flashlight and went to investigate.  Was it a bear? Another skunk? What could be causing this cacophony of noises?

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There, inside a hole torn into the brand-new kitchen tent was a raccoon raiding the larder - raw eggs, fresh fruits, a bag of chips...Yum!  Who knew raccoons could and would open cooler chests?  Definitely not these two goofballs!  And not to be left out of the feast a dozen blackbirds had followed the bandit leader into the tent, demolished a loaf of bread and a bag of cookies, scattering crumbs everywhere. 

​Now that they'd had their fill they were flapping furiously against the netted walls in a futile attempt to escape.  Grammy opened the flap, let them out while friend chased off Mr Raccoon. After cleaning up the disarray of the night marauders these two greenhorns returned to their sleeping bags and resettled for the remainder of the night.

​Only problem was that despite having cleaned up, it was done in the dark with the aid of two flashlights.  Not an ideal situation, and bits were missed.  These bits attracted their own parade of opportunists.  Squirrels, chipmunks, sparrows, finches, ants and you name it all made an appearance taking away bits and bobs -  bread and cookie crumbs, peanuts in the shell, dry cereal.  

A veritable feast was had by all and sundry.  AND what about Grammy and her friend?  They toodled off to town for a 50s diner breakfast and to restock the larder.  Lesson 2 learned.... all food stuffs were to be stored in the trunk of the car overnight.

Comments are welcomed... let's keep them light and fun.  ​

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