By Etude, hefty, healthy chronicler of mean ol' Grammy
Two days later and we promised you an update about the visit to our vet. In case you haven't heard, we love our vet and call her Dr. WhiteCoat, but the silly thing is she doesn't wear a white coat. She wears patterned scrubs... and looks quite professional in them. Also, she has a soft voice and gentle touch when she gives us a thorough going over. Rondo and I have been her patients since we were born. She had to help our mummy because we were big babies and mummy was tiny. Poor mummy.
So, on to our visit. As you read in the previous blog Grammy tossed us all into our crates and dragged us into the taxi and then reversed the process to bring us home again. Mean ol' Grammy!
We got to the vettie clinic very early. Despite this they were gracious and took us almost immediately.
On arrival in the examination room Grammy let Whiskers out to wander. The rest of us had settled down to wait patiently and Sweetie curled up and went to sleep in her carrier but Whiskers was fussing to get out. Well, she explored every nook and cranny while she waited. We think she was searching for an escape route.
On being examined there was a little concern that she'd lost a bit of weight.. and she is 10 (yes, we thought she was 2 years older but records show she's estimated to be only a year older than Mousie) and so is not considered a Senior, but Mature.
We beg to differ on that description, but Dr WhiteCoat clarified she's Mature in age. She wasn't commenting on her behaviour. *Giggles* So, she got a thorough going over - heart, kidneys, privates, mammary glands okay, all organs in good working order. Only concern is that she eats too quickly and throws up. But it is usually after a long night with no food and an acid buildup in her tummy. NOTHING NEW there! She and Rondo are alike that way.
Just to be sure and due to her age a Blood Panel for Mature cats was done. No kidney disease, heart issues, diabetes, thyroid or whatever else was tested for. She's a healthy mature girl.
Mousie as you all know, is very tiny and Grammy was worried she'd lost some weight but she danced for joy when she found out Mousie weighs the same now as she did at the last visit. Organs, skin condition, ears, eyes, mouth all checked. Two teeth had calcification on them that doctor removed during the exam with no fuss. Good girl, Mousie. She has allergies and a heart murmur but is otherwise well... The murmur hasn't changed in 2 1/2 years. EXCELLENT News !!
To be absolutely sure about the heart a special test was done to check the strength of the heart muscle. The heart muscle is considered healthy but will be monitored and checked again in 2 years. As for the allergies... she has to have meds during allergy season and that will be a challenge for Grammy... but not insurmountable. As her nether parts were being check Mousie expressed her anal gland into doctor's gloved hand. I don't think it was appreciated. *giggles* YEEEEEEEW! That's so gross. At least it wasn't poopies.
The rest of us were not so rude and were praised for our super clean butts. She can thank Whiskers, our consummate groomer for those pristine butts. She's meticulous and relentless. Of course, Grammy objects when she decides to groom her after she's done with us. We think its funny!
Rondo was examined next because he was the one who triggered the appointment. Gained weight, cheeky boy. But other than having some calcification removed from a tooth he is in perfect health. Must have been a bit of a bug, poor fellow.
He even cooperated with Dr. WhiteCoat when she trimmed his claws. Nary a growl nor a snap of the jaw, only a pulling away of his paws, to which doctor told him to behave... AND HE DID!
Wow! Grammy thinks she'll have to take him there for claw trims quarterly rather than risk life and limb to do it herself.
I was next but being a gentlecat I'll tell you about Sweetie first. Sweetie is in perfect health everywhere but in her wee mouth. Weight the same, no issues with anything else. Like all of us, ears clean, butt clean, etc. but she has gum disease. Poor wee thing.
Years ago when she was still a kitten she had to have a bunch of back teeth removed because they were blocking her esophagus and her ability to swallow, causing gum issues. Grammy had hoped that was the end of it but, no! She needs major surgery to remove a whole bunch of teeth followed by antibiotics to clear up the infection and pain meds for the pain, of course.
Grammy was devastated to see the condition of her mouth and to think she hadn't been monitoring it... but 18 months ago her teeth and gums were fine and she was eating normally so...
Poor little Sweetie is booked in for surgery late next week. She gave the doctor the old stink-eye for that and for manhandling her.
Once back in her carrier and for the next 20 minutes Sweetie groomed herself from tops of her ears to the very tip of her tail. She had to get that 'stink' off her. Even the doctor commented on her fastidious behaviour. We could tell Sweetie was not amused! Not one bit!
Little did she know she was going to be handled again when she had the bloodwork taken. That elicited a snort and a repeat of the grooming process. The nerve! To be manhandled after just finishing her groom. But then, she is a fussy little princess.
And now we get to me.... the handsome, debonair Etude. Dr. Whitecoat put me on the scale and said ruefully ... GAINED again! Well, I am a healthy boy of eighteen pounds.
When asked about our exercise regime Grammy explained how we (Rondo and I) love to chase the red dot for a maximum of 5 minutes before settling down to watch the girls and their futile antics. And with other toys we play pond duck, tucking in our paws and rubbernecking while Grammy gyrates and dances around the room with feather toys on wands and crinkly balls and mouses to entertain us. We didn't realize WE were supposed to chase the toys. Come on! That's baby stuff. We boys are sophistocats not girly kittens.
I did have to have two teeth decalcified but that took 2 minutes and other than swallowing some of the debris the procedure went well. AND I cooperated with the nail trim too.. wiggled a bit but nothing more. Everything else about me is PERFECT! Of course, it is.
Comments are welcomed.
by Sweetie and Gentle Mouse, disgruntled kittens.
Well, friends. We had to step up and take over the blog for today. Those lazy brothers of ours have decided to slack off as usual and they even let Grammy off the hook. Not going to happen after what we've been through today. Sorry, Grammy but doing our blog is a MUST so hop to it ol' girl you've already missed a couple this month. Get those fingers in gear and start typing.
So, to start with... we are normally dragged off to our favourite vettie in the autumn but Grammy 'postponed' it until now... Actually she was procrastinating... as usual!!! But with Rondo sick over the weekend she couldn't put it off any longer.
Appointment was made for today. If you follow us on our Facebook page you'll have seen a few days ago that carriers were brought out and assembled and plunked onto the floor for us to trip over. So much for a tidy condo, Grammy!
But how kind! Grammy gave us more choices for naps and being the cooperative, sweet and easy-going kitties that we are we made full use of them, slept in them, played in them and Mousie checked out the boys in theirs before settling into one herself.
So, this morning arrived. Grammy was behaving as usual. Up, make bed, feed kitties, make and pour coffee. Sit down, enjoy coffee and check Facebook. Shower, dress. Hmmm! Grammy must be going out today. Okay! More nap time for us! Nothing amiss here so we kitties carried on as usual.. eat, nap, and nap again.
Unfortunately she must have made a call for transportation while we napped because we never suspected a thing. UNTIL...
Grammy walked into bedroom where we three girls were. Walked over to the window as she had numerous times earlier today. Suddenly she nabbed Mousie who was asleep in her lair and unceremoniously plopped her into the carrier on the dresser.
Mousie: Yes, and what did YOU do, Sweetie? Scarpered off through the cat door into the living-room leaving me to deal with Grammy alone. You could have tripped her up, given her a clawing! Anything to get me released from her grip, but NOOOOO! You abandoned me! Traitor!
Sweetie: Sorry, Mousie. Really, I am but I was scared and only thought of making myself scarce.
Mousie: I think mummy Whiskers was bewildered. Wakened from her sleep by my loud 'Miep! Miep! Miep!' (Grammy interjects - Yes, Mousie's cry is so loud she needs a megaphone to be heard.) she blundered around trying to figure out what was happening... and Grammy, quick as a whip, zipped up my carrier and grabbed mummy. Before I could shout 'HELP! she was plunked into her carrier where she growled at Grammy and gave her the stink-eye... but good!
Next she grabbed Rondo who was hiding beside the fridge. Maybe he thought he'd blend in with the white appliances but nope! Grammy scooped him up with and 'umph, you're one heavy lump, mister!' and he responded with a 'you're no light-weight yourself, old girl'. Well, that didn't sit well so he too was dumped into his carrier and the door slammed shut.
Now the search was on for Etude. Where was the elusive Tude the Dude? Grammy couldn't find him. Not in the bedroom. Not in the kitchen, bathroom, closet so he had to be in the livingroom… Nope. Back to the bedroom... where he'd sucked in his girth and slipped behind the headboard and the wall. Bed pulled out and Grammy grabbed him, groaned, - heavier than Rondo - lumbered over to his carrier plopped him in and fastened the door.
Now, as you know, Sweetie got the warning and scarpered. Everywhere had been searched looking for Etude leaving only one possibility - the drawer under the sofa. Quietly opening it, Grammy saw a furry body hunkered down tail toward her and before the traitor could react she too was scooped and dropped through the top of her carrier and the snaps secured.
And that was that! Or so we thought, but no! Next we were loaded onto the rollator one by one, rolled to the elevator and stacked by the door. One last trip to the condo to swap rollator for crutch; lock up. Button pushed, elevator door opened, Rondo set to hold door open while we were tossed inside, pull Rondo in, descend, shove him against door once more and we got tossed out into the lobby. Then one by one we were taken to the entrance where our taxi driver loaded us and we were off.
Through that whole hallway, elevator, taxi ride Sweetie made Grammy and then the driver aware of what she though of the situation. She howled for every second of the 45 minute trip and she 'don't need no megaphone'! *giggles*
Sweetie: Well, someone had to. The boys and Whiskers just settled in to enjoy the scenery and you were on Grammy's lap getting pets. Where was I? On the floor behind Grammy! No window! Now who's the traitor, HUH?
The return trip was much quieter with only one squawk from me before I gave up and had a nap. BUT when we reached our floor we ALL howled until we were inside the condo. See what the neighbours think of you now, Grammy! Hah!
Stay tuned for part 2 - the Vettie visit.
Comments are welcomed. Especially if they are commiserations with us and our plight.
by Whiskers, the exasperated matron of mischief.
Just so's you know, right up front, I'm one ticked-off kitty. Yes, I am. No, I didn't remove a tick from my furry body. I don't have ticks, fleas or any other parasites. Cheeky readers, to even think that!
I'm annoyed because the old girl is unwell AGAIN... and 'we' are back on nursing duties. Can you believe it? You might as well... 'cause it's true.
Sweetie and Gentle Mousie have donned their nursing caps and gear and gone into overdrive. Honey and lemon in her Wild Sweet Orange tea for the sore throat, inhaled steroids for the lungs (for Grammy, not them) and another steroid for the sinuses. Tucked in a blanket with heating pad. This is getting old, Grammy! Really old!
So, what does that do to us? Well, besides having to manage the old girl, it puts a major damper on the mischief side of life. Yes, it does! How can we create mayhem with a pair of brown-speckled blue eyes staring at us? EXACTLY! We cannot! And that ticks me off because that's what I am all about and what I had planned for this week.
So, what to do from here... Well, let's see. Maybe we'll dose her up on her meds, wrap her in bubblewrap and ship her off to some obscure place with no return address on the package. Yes, I think that sounds like a plan.
What was that, Sweetie? *Groan, moan, mumble, splutter* Well, it seems the nurses have spoken. I'm not shipping her off to some unknown destination. Such party poopers. Nothing like putting a damper on life. I tell you though, when they speak, we listen... Look at those faces! They are not to be trifled with. *grumble, mutter, whine*
What to do with the old girl? Anyone have suggestions?
Well, if we cannot ship her off into oblivion or some such place the boys and I, Whiskers the mischief matron, will make ourselves scarce.
'But, before I leave... just a little quick update. You remember that ant issue we discussed and had taken care of... Well..... Grammy thought they were back and freaked... maybe that's what triggered her 'whatever-she-has'!
Saturday after her delightful afternoon with Aunty L she treated herself to a manicure and Mrs L, the manicurist, gave the old girl some herbs from her garden. Grammy loves fresh herbs and this was oregano freshly picked. While Grammy cannot smell it she remembers how she loved it and imagined how delicious it would be in her cooking, brought it home, took it out of the baggie and placed it in water to crisp up until she used it.
Because we are destructive little creatures with plants Grammy set the oregano in it's jar of water on the balcony to use in a day or two, returned to the kitchen and an ANT was crawling around on the countertop. FREAK OUT!! Grammy thought the miserable critters were back but we reassured her it probably came off the oregano.
Well, unfortunately for it, Grammy dispatched it toot sweet.
It was number 3 critter this past week. Spider 1 was a sneaky little critter that was hiding in the angle between bathroom and bedroom doorways. GONE in a flash!
Then, Sweetie and Etude were entertaining another on the livingroom floor on Tuesday. It was more like hockey for cats with the spider as the puck. Poor spider wasn't happy about it but hey... check out how Grammy feels about those in the blog in Poetry by Rondo and you'll know how he was handled - well, not handled. More like footled!
There was also a tentative 4th but that was Grammy having hallucinations in the shower. She freaked and almost toppled out of the tub when she saw this huge black, long legged thing on her sponge holder. I tell you... it was NOTHING but a reflection of the sponge's shadow in the clear plastic holder... but you'd have thought the old dear was being murdered. The woman is HIGH MAINTENANCE!
Boys, pack your backpacks and grab my carryon. Don't forget your passports. I've got the 'plastic' yes, the red one! We're heading out for a few days, weeks, however long it takes for Grammy to get over whatever she has or arrives at destination unknown.
*Dials Air Canada* "When is the next flight out to Christiansted?" *listens* "Hold the plane, we're 5 minutes away! Wait for us!" *conference call to BAMA and Muddy Waters* "Get ready we're diverting the jet to pick you all up!"
"Here we come, Aunty M! Hope the pool is ready and you're stocked up on food and sodas!"
Comments welcomed... especially when they are funny, silly or just plain goofy.
by Whiskers, INFAMOUS Matriarch of Mischief aka IMPISHNESS
Good day dear friends. I am here to ILLUMINATE your lives today... though how I'm to do IT eludes me. I don't have the qualities needed to brighten or to enhance your day... as I'm more of an IMP not an ILLUSTRATOR.
What I can do IS IMPLICATE my fellow felines of Mischief and Mayhem Central IN the mayhem we create on a daily basis. I'm not so sure they will be pleased at my efforts, but then when have I ever worried about that! NEVER!
IN this household we are comprised of only six bodies - five feline and 1 bi-ped….. our Grammy but at times the neighbours must think we are a INIMITABLE herd of IMPALAS. But let me reassure you. There are only five of the quadrupeds in the house... and there is only one INDIVIDUAL, yes one, who gallops around this place and sounds like a horde of marauding INFIDELS. That one is Sweetie. Our beloved youngest IN the family is a noisy and INVETERATE chaser of INVISIBLE INTRUDERS.
That's right. We don't see what she chases but she patrols the perimeter of the INSIDE of the condo from one end to the other, seeking out any and all who attempt to INFILTRATE. Those INVETERATE beings are then systematically dispatched to INFINITY. IN doing so she is prone to heavy-footed galloping, leaping up walls to great heights and of course landing with a loud thump on the floor again to dispose of the critter(s) forthwith - thus the herd of IMPALAS reference. She must be doing a fine job as we've never been INVADED, INFILTRATED, or overrun yet. Our wee Sweetie is INVALUABLE to our family.
Mousie, my dear sweet INFANT and the characteristically shy one is quite the opposite of our noisy Sweetie. Mousie prefers the quiet life. Curled up behind/under her blanket or IN the eerie on the Kitty Condo, she dreams of her Cheffy Dearest. But, she has her moments. Yes, siree. When least expected our wee Mousie will climb down from her throne on high, and join the family. This starts with a gentle, silent drop to the floor and a canter across the bedroom, a perfect arc of a jump through the door-flap. On landing hall-side the wee one takes a quick look around, checking for the INSTRUMENTS of torture known as Etude and Rondo before clicking her claws across the tiles to the water fountain. IF someone notices her in the main part of the condo she makes a hasty exit back to her safe haven IN the bedroom. If unnoticed she'll proceed to Grammy's chair for a few kisses and a cuddle before retiring again. Sweet little Mousie, our sweet little INTROVERT loves her peace and quiet where she can ponder life's INCONGRUOUS INCONSISTENCIES.
Well, dear friends, dear old Grammy ISN'T up to this blog stuff at the moment so she's cut us off with our blog barely half done. How dare she! So, here IT IS... the INCOMPLETE blog.
At least we can share a photo of our two youngest. Mousie and Sweetie.
Comments are welcomed especially if they are light and funny.
by Rondo, poet and choirmaster.
HELLO, dear readers. HERE I am... ready to tackle the letter H. HOPE it goes well, though why shouldn't it? As poet and choirmaster I HAVE been leading this choir for years. This year I HAVE HIGH HOPES for the HENS and chick who live in the HOOD.
HAVING posted posters asking the neighbourhood finches, HOUSE sparrows and their cousins the HARRIS' sparrows, nuthatches, HUMMINGBIRDS, red-winged blackbirds to join our choir we are still a little short on the deeper voices. Etude refused to be the only tenor in the choir so I HOPPED the transit down to the waterfront and invited the HORNED grebe and the HERON in the marshes and considered the HAWKS since we need some bass voices. You may relax. We asked them to sign agreements that food sources would not include members of the choir or their families. Even then I have been a little HESITANT and on my guard.
Mr. HAWK and HIS family were a reluctant but acquiesced, assured us they would HUNT further abroad because it would be an HONOUR to be in the choir. WOW! An HONOUR! Who'd HAVE thought?
And so, we have our choir... and what a treat. Now, every morning through spring, summer and autumn we gather on the window ledge, inside and out, at the crack of dawn to sing our HEARTS out as the sun rises above the HORIZON! *Giggles* Grammy isn't so HAPPY to be wakened from her nightly HORIZONTAL HIBERNATION. But what fun to torment HER. Of course, once HER HEART returns to a normal beat she can lay back and enjoy our HEAVENLY singing. *Giggles again* It is such fun to HARASS the old girl.
And now, just a little repost of a poem from last year.
April in the City
The leaf it buds upon the tree
It makes me hum; I feel such glee
That snow is spent; now grasses grow
Amid the flowers, a verdant show.
Outdoors I’ll be in spirit, though
For in big city we cats don’t go
Beyond the sill and window pane
It isn’t safe so we home remain.
But there we listen with deep intent
To birds a-singing, We are content
To watch them soar as they go past
Delighting in their joy. Spring, at last!
© Whiskers, Mouse, Sweetie, Etude & Rondo - Mischief and Mayhem Central
Published originally in blog posted April 30, 2018
So dear friends... on that note I'm calling it a wrap...
We love to hear your comments... especially if they are funny or better yet, HILARIOUS HUMDINGERS!
by Whiskers, Matriarch of Mischief and Social Butterfly
Good evening, Friends.
This is going to be a short blog this week. Grammy isn't up to taking a long dictation or doing a lot of thinking or mental gymnastics.
We are going to share photos of the three members of Mischief and Mayhem Central who have passed on. They are PussPuss, Grammy's first kitty, Malcolm who was adopted to keep PussPuss company, and Montague aka Monty who was adopted after PussPuss passed when we found out he needed a home and Malcolm was lonely.
PussPuss arrived as a 14 month old mischief when she needed to be rehomed. She chose Grammy by tapping her on the shoulder and meowing. She demanded to be adopted and taken home INSTANTLY! Once there she settled in quickly at Grammy's apartment and spent the rest of her years getting into a lot of mischief some of which you can read about in the series Into the Archives.
Malcolm was adopted about a year later to keep PussPuss company while Grammy's job took her on the road. While Malcolm loved his big sister, PussPuss was less enamoured of the little black squirt. That didn't stop him from snuggling up to her when she was snoozing. But, when Grammy was home Malcolm clung to her. He loved to be held, cuddled, danced around the room and played with. He was full of mischief too. There were times Grammy couldn't find him. He'd tuck himself in amongst the LPs and books on various shelves and blend in to his surroundings. He'd give Grammy such a scare... and would have this little mischievous smile when she finally found him as if to say... fooled you, Grammy.
Malcolm lived to well into his 18th year... was blind for the last three years. He adapted so well to it that it was quite a while before Grammy clued in. AND despite his blindness he never had an accident but... In his latter years he often howled at night, possibly disoriented/lost in the condo. But as soon as he heard Grammy's voice he'd join her and settle down for the rest of the night. Sweet Malcolm. Read more about Malcolm in another Into the Archives post.
Malcolm and Grammy missed PussPuss when she passed but didn't realize how much until they brought another needy kitty home. That sweet boy was Montague, aka Monty. He'd been left at his vet's practice with instructions to euthanize him. The vet in all conscience couldn't do that with such a young, gentle and sweet cat. Word got to Grammy who went to see him, immediately adopted him and brought him home.
Monty had his issues... the result of a bullying kitty sibling in his previous home. It took a few months but eventually he overcame his fears and his behaviours. Grammy attributes that to Malcolm's super laidback nature and Grammy's soft reassuring voice... allowing him to relax and realize there was nothing to be afraid of.
Unfortunately, he passed young from a heart defect... but his last 18 months were happy, mischievous and filled with love. Monty had the softest coat, the sweetest disposition and was the cheekiest of the three kitties. You can read more about Monty here.
So dear friends, I hope you enjoyed this look into the distant past.
Comments are welcomed... especially if they are funny, mischievous and/or cute.
by Etude (aka Mr Attitude, aka Pinky, aka FuzzyBritches)
Friends, we thought we would be generous and give the ol' girl a break considering. So we went back into the archives to our first blog... and decided to share it with you once again. This is the blog that started off all our nonsensical writings. ENJOY!
Does anybody know what Moth day is? Well, let me tell those of you who don't know and for those who do I want to have a commiseration pity party – but someone else will have to host it because the stench around here is unbearable despite the windows being opened to the winter chill.
Today was Moth Day at our house!! I shall always remember October 1, 2014 as MOTH DAY for the rest of my remaining 8 lives – yes 8, for my siblings and I all lost a life today, I’m sure. It was and is horrible, worse than horrible. It was down right NASTY.
Here's the background story...
Grammy has arthritis and used to (note the used to) sit on sheepskins to ease the pain. Well, two sheepskins, 2 chairs, 1 Grammy and one preferred chair lead to one chair and 1 sheepskin not used for about a bazillion years. That was a mistake let me tell you. Never leave a sheepskin unoccupied or idle for more than a day. Keep it busy! Give it homework, sums, memory work, anything but don’t let it idle. An idle sheepskin will get up to unspeakable mischief. Yes, lambs may be innocent, sheep may be innocent but those skins... not a chance...
A moth, well, it might have been a host of moths but all it would take is one moth ventured into our condo and selected the unoccupied sheepskin to lay its clutch of eggs! The moth man told Grammy they only lay up to 400 eggs in their lifetime, but we can attest to that being inaccurate – more like a million, possibly a terrabillion.
Grammy didn't notice this moth (they are sneaky little beings, quiet as field mice, actually quieter. They are quiet as moths, yep. Interesting isn’t it... a moth is a quiet as a moth. Now how’s that for logic?) Well, back to the story...
Those lucky little eggs hatched into larva which feasted on the sheepskin. Then they mutated, or maybe it was rotated, or it could be they agitated into more moths and they, being unaware and having a perfect food source right there in the sheepskin continued to procreate ad infinitum. That means forever... may not be spelt correctly but you get the drift.
Finally, one of the wee beasties being an adventurous Indiana Jones sort ventured out, discovered a brave new world and returned to tell his buddies of the great outdoors of Mischief & Mayhem Central. That’s all it took. Out came Indiana Moth and the others followed – the great Moth exodus. How wonderful! Flitting here, flitting there doing their mothy things. Delightful!
Well, that was the point when we entered the picture.
Grammy suddenly noticed us doing strange things, bouncing off walls, waving paws in the air and chasing the invisible. At first she said, Oh isn’t that cute! They’re playing. It’s so nice to see them entertain themselves. And her nose returned to her book, her knitting or her computer. And, this went on for days, weeks, maybe even a lifetime – well, definitely a lifetime of a moth when suddenly a friend said, Oh, I see a moth!! WHAT? WHERE? No, you’re hallucinating! Well, she wasn’t! Those moths had been having a grand ol’ time and so had we! But, let Grammy figure it out we were staying out of this one.
Scooting her friend out the door with a See ya! Don’t believe ya, but just to appease ya, I’ll check the house! and the great Moth Hunt began...
Now, Grammy’s a neat freak! Vacuums regularly! Scoops litter twice a day! Makes her bed! Dishes in the dishwasher! Clothing goes where clothing belongs – in closets and drawers with said closets and drawers closed... None of this throw it on a chair stuff, because she knows five furry felines will gravitate to and vie for that one piece of clothing that isn’t hung or put away and layer it with a coating of fur and a dollop of scent gland before you can say, Jack Robinson. BUT, Grammy had neglected to attend to the unused chair. But, to be fair, why would she? ... it’s unused!
Well, Grammy vacuumed, washed the floors, dusted the already dusted bookshelves, did her usual clean and NOTHING! Nary a moth! Then, quite by accident, well maybe not accident (should I say, serendipity), she decided to vacuum the chair she used and thought, maybe whilst she’s at it, just for good measure she should do the same to the other. Out came the chair from under the table and bingo! There right under her nose those little beasties were active in their sheepskin nest... procreating, incubating, eating and pupating right before her eyes. NASTY!
Out came the green garbage bags! In went the thought-to-be unused sheepskin. Of course, it had been used but unbeknownst to us. In went the beknownst in-use sheepskin. AND in came the paranoia! Major paranoia! Everything not washable and/or suspected of hosting even a single moth, egg, larva or pupa followed the sheepskins into the bag. Out went the bag and a second bag. And just to be sure, out went the two old rickety chairs.
So now we’ve had the great Moth exodus, followed by the great furniture and fabric exodus. What next? Well, the paranoia continued. Each and every book was removed from the bookshelves – and we’re talking a bazillion books. Each and every book was vacuumed; covers and spines were washed and dried. Once the bookcases were emptied, they got scrubbed front and back, inside and out. Next the walls behind and floors beneath were scrubbed too until the whole living-room was scrubbed top down!
This marathon of paranoia continued to bottoms of sofa, armchair, hassocks, dressers and closets. Yes, closets were emptied, every bit of fabric, towels, bedding, clothing washed, dried and all stored in vacuum packed plastic. Cupboards, kitchen and bath, not an item was overlooked. So, now those moths were licked! Or were they? Just to be sure all the bases were covered... Grammy set up clothing moth traps. Done! Paranoia on hold, have a cuppa joe and relax.
For two weeks all was quiet on the M&M front when one night while reading her book Grammy was suddenly distracted. Something had skittered past her nose! No, it wasn’t the nightly Sweetie doing her leap arm-to-arm-across-the-sofa training! Much smaller. MUCH smaller! What could it be? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! There in the moth trap – a single solitary moth! The paranoia resurfaced! Where there’s one... there’s a potential for a terrabillion.
Imagine Grammy’s plight! What to do, how to conquer this foe? ... so, the marathon began again. Another massive search was on for the source but unfortunately none was found. Over the next few weeks more moths congregated and met their demise in the moth traps. Despite everything she done there was no other option... it was down to... call THE MOTH EXTERMINATOR. And ... this is how we lost one of our nine lives. NASTY!
Yesterday, Grammy began surreptitiously preparing for THE MOTH EXTERMINATOR due to his imminent arrival. (Note that 'surreptitiously prepared' means while we’re stuffing our faces and too busy to notice.) A few extra kitty carriers were removed from the closet and assembled. Snuggly blankets were placed in each. A doggie cage was set up on the balcony. Bathmats readied to line the bottom and two litter boxes lined with fleecy blankets ( we use these as beds) were also set by the balcony door. Well, carriers are always around – Grammy keeps a couple open and lined in fleece or fluffy towels for our snoozing pleasure – so when we’d finished eating and noticed them we thought nothing of it. That is, until this morning.
Suddenly, a coffee under her belt, Grammy went into Ninja mode... not Ninja Turtle but Ninja Hare mode. She picked me up. I thought – oh boy, cuddle time, but noooo. I got whipped out into the surreptitiously prepared doggie cage on the balcony... like a sack of potatoes... dumped in the open air. I could have died from exposure! Next, Rondo, poor fellow.... the same thing! Whipped into her arms and whisked outside, squirming (gotta love the boy for trying!) while Grammy opened the cage door to toss him in. In the ensuing turmoil – Whoopee! I escaped back into the condo. But poor Ronny... stuck in an open air cage on a frosty (60°F.) Wednesday morning, with nothing to keep him warm – well almost nothing... only two snuggly litter boxes with nothing but fleece liners in them. How will he survive this? Will he be scarred for life?
Then the Grammy/Etude chase was on... behind the bed, under the end of the bed, into the livingroom... it was great fun though I don’t think Grammy was enjoying herself much. Let my guard down for a moment and suddenly I was scooped and tossed into a carrier, door closed and a big sigh of relief – no, not from me, from Grammy. I howled as loudly as I could... You must have heard it! The desk sergeant left his post to come out of the police station a block over to check on the sonic boom. Fortunately, he’s a little hard of hearing and couldn’t pinpoint the direction of the sound but he sure felt the vibrations. Not only into the carrier but unceremoniously dumped on the balcony! NASTY – About to die of exposure, again! Then suddenly – a blackout. Blankets thrown over our cage and carrier – supposedly to keep the draft off, but more likely to hide the horrors to follow.
Now where were the girls during all this? Sweetie was playing! Can you imagine it? Not one ounce of concern for our plight... and Mouse – snoozing on the chair. Such caring, sweet sisters! NOT! Little did they realize... yes, they too were being banished to the balcony but did they fuss? Nooooo! Grammy picked up Mouse, put her in the carrier and closed the door...not a peep, not a squirm, not a wiggle! Harrumph! At least Sweetie howled... gotta give her that, but again, picked up and set in the carrier and the two of them, Sweetie and Mouse plunked above Ronny in the great outdoors, carriers wrapped in blankets and left to freeze to death.
And that left Whiskers, old, plodding, stodgy Matriarch of Mischief. Shouldn’t be a problem! The old dear! Haha! Did she give Grammy a run for her money or what! You had to be there! It was priceless! I’ve never known either old stick to move so quickly in all my 3 years. Into the bedroom, under the bed, move the bed, under a chair, move the chair... caught... into the carrier. No! Feet splayed and one good wiggle and she was free again. Back into the bedroom Whiskers disappeared... livingroom, bedroom, repeat exercise three or four times until she eluded Grammy completely! Well, almost. Grammy found her hunkered down between the sofa and bookcase with no escape except past Grammy herself. This time Grammy outsmarted her, tucked the tail under and lifted her butt and set her in through the top hatch of the carrier, slammed the lid and DONE! The fifth furry dumped and covered on the balcony with moments to spare before the arrival of THE MOTH EXTERMINATOR.
So there we were howling to the neighbours for assistance, plotting our escapes if only we had had opposable digits and feeling betrayed. Grammy joined us, chair, folding table, phone, iPad, kitty treats and she had the gall to chat at us as though all was right with the world! Could we be bribed with treats? NO! Not a chance! Well, maybe! Oh, alright then, if I must I’ll eat them... but only because you insist, and I won't be happy about it!
The only one in all this kerfuffle unaffected by the mayhem – Mouse – our timid, afraid of her own shadow, doesn’t like change Mouse! She nibbled her treats, looked around in interest at all the activity and even ogled THE MOTH EXTERMINATOR.
I tell you after days, okay, a bazillion hours, well, maybe it was a couple of hours waiting for the stink to dissipate we were allowed back inside... but the windows are open to the winter chill, the stink persists and we’re living in it. But at least we are indoors.
No more outdoor adventures for me, thank you very much!
That whole exercise has taken one of each of our nine. NASTY! ... and we think maybe a couple of decades off Grammy as well. Now, let’s hope this is the end of the moths... because if it isn’t Rondo and I are searching for a new family to rule. Anyone out there with a moth free home? Harrumph!
Comments are welcomed. Let's keep them moth free and funny.
by Whiskers, Mouse, Sweetie, Etude and Rondo.
GOLLY GOSH, GRAMMY has GROWN weary. Sorry, we had a hard time finding a word fitting to describe tired starting with the letter G. *GIGGLES* but let us tell you. The old GIRL is dragging her GIRTH today. Now that doesn't sound as much fun as butt, but, hey. What can we say? We GOT to use a G-word. And that's what this is about.
GRAMMY had a GREAT Saturday attending the Knitter's GUILD yarn fest...The Knitter's Frolic with a GIRLFRIEND. Not only did she wander through the site checking out the beautiful yarns, accessories and such, she volunteered on the admissions desk for a couple of hours too. Now we must admit, she resisted spending and limited herself to one skein of yarn to make herself a lap blanket to keep her upper legs warm when she is sitting and it is GORGEOUS. We can hardly wait to try it out, though we overheard her say when we are on her lap it won't be. Yeah, sure! Try and stop us. *GIGGLES*
Sunday was equally wonderful (or more so, if that's possible) with visits from niece and GREAT-neice. They drove down from north of Midland (in the GREAT Canadian Shield) for the day, attended church with her, and took GRAM out to a favourite eating spot for lunch and a long visit before heading back. The three of them were celebrating a special occasion but that is all we'll say about that. What an awesome time it was.
Before heading back to GRAVENHURST (or its vicinity) they dropped GRAMMY off at another GIRLFRIEND's place where she visited, napped and knitted before they both attending evening church and listened to an amazing missionary preach. It was GLORIOUS, according to GRAMMY. She loves her friends, family and church and counts each and every one as a blessing in her life.
Today GRAMMY is GETTING her eyes tested. About time! She's been squinting to read, GETS tired quickly and hasn't updated her GOGGLES for four or five years. GOSH GOLLY! It's about time!
Please forgive us for making this short. GRAMMY has a busy day - teaching this afternoon and GETTING a vitamin jab in her arm before coming back to GREET us, feed us GOOD food and GIVE us cuddles and kisses and all the GRAND things in life.
GRAMMY put together the following photo GROUPINGS for you to enjoy.
Comments are welcomed. Of course, funny, sweet or hilarious are preferred.
by Rondo, Friend to Frodo
Good morning, FRIENDS. Isn't today FANTASTIC?
Not sure I can do as FABULOUSLY as Etude in his last blog but I shall put my best FOOT FORWARD and FORGE ahead. Well, actually I'll be putting my paw FORWARD since we cats have paws, which gives me pause. Why are our FEETSIES called paws but FOLKS have FEET? Can anyone explain? And while I'm at it, why do people have two hands and two FEET but we have FOUR paws - two FOREPAWS and two hindpaws but they are all FOUR paws? Or better yet, why aren't peoples' hands called FOREFEET or their FEET called hind hands? I'm FLUMMOXED!
Well that'll give us all something to FOCUS on other than FOOD.. although just as Eating is Etude's passion FOOD is mine. I bet you are surprised to FIND that out. Of course you are. And while I'm on this topic let me correct Etude's statement that I sing for my FEAST in the key of E FLAT. I sing in the key of F natural when I'm FAMISHED and F sharp when I'm near to FAINTING FROM FOOD deprivation. These are very distinct sounds. Of course, Etude, not being musical would be less than knowledgeable about the distinction between E FLAT and F Flat so we must FORGIVE him FOR being FOGGY minded on that topic. (Just for a little extra FUN - go to a piano keyboard and check out E sharp and F natural. *giggles*)
Okay, now on to other FAVOURED F words. How about FOUNTAIN, FIRESIDE and FEATHERBED or FABRICATE, FICTION and FIASCO? Well, I think I'll begin with FOUNTAIN, FIRESIDE and FEATHERBED... all of which are FOUND in our home. We have two FOUNTAINS FROM which to quench our thirst and multiple FEATHERBEDS to FLOP on while being mesmerized by the FIRE crackling in the FIREPLACE on our television. Now that is FABULOUS, don't you think? The other three words I'll address near the end... so stay FOCUSED.
While we're at it... two more of my FAVOURITES are FRIENDS and FAMILY. Well, FROM our list of FRIENDS of whom there are many, a FEW of those of the F crowd are FRODO and FAMILY of Many Claws in St. Croix and Da FLUFFAROONIEZ - the whole crew. These two groups have been our FRIENDS FOR it seems like FOREVER. FRODO is our buddy who FLITS around the Virgin Islands on his Hoverboard FORAGING FOR FRANKLINS to pay for FUEL to FLY his plane on our adventures to FARAWAY places. OKAY, he and his FAMILY are our FRIENDS and he hoverboards and FLIES a plane but the part about FRANKLINS was stuff and nonesense... aka FOOLISHNESS. Suffice it to know that he and his family are our dear FRIENDS and we love their FLUFFINESSES into FOREVER.
Da FLUFFAROONIEZ the aforementioned crew, FORM a chorus and FOR many years have been FOUND visiting FACEBOOK pages and singing their FAVOURITE song of the week and greeting each of us with a descriptive adjective similar to 'hope your week is FABULOUS or FANTASTIC or FANTASMAGORICAL or even FENOMENAL (**Teehee**) I had to throw that in there but of course the correct spelling is phenomenal. FOOLED you! While I'm here I'd like to say, we miss the Da FLUFFS as we called them and their weekly visits... but we understand the situation and are just happy they continue to post though it may be in a different FORMAT. Oh, we have it on good authority they'll be back in May. FANTABULOUS!
Okay, let's stop and go back a little here. You remember I mentioned FRODO FORAGED FOR FRANKLINS? Well, for those who live outside of the USA FRANKLINS are $100 bills - the currency with Benjamin FRANKLIN on them. AND who is this FRANKLIN fellow? Well, he was a FOUNDING FATHER and a statesman amongst other things in the newly FORMED United States of America. He invented the FRANKLIN stove, the lightning rod, bi-FOCAL glasses and wrote articles on many subjects.
Our FAVOURITE would be his essay FART PROUDLY, about FLATULENCE which he penned while Ambassador to FRANCE. Now that is FUNNY! The FRENCH might say FORMIDABLE! Please forgive me if I've made a FAUX PAW here. I'm a Canadian kitty and am not overly FAMILIAR with American history or FRENCH etiquette. And on that note I'd better move on before Grammy has a conniption FIT. This subject hits a little too close to home. FLATULENCE, that is!
So, dear FRIENDS the good news is that I didn't FABRICATE the above discussion on FRANKLIN. It is not a piece of FICTION but is somewhat FARCICAL or rather, his essay is.
Oops FIASCO! Grammy has cottoned onto my windy topic and is FORMIDABLE when she's putout and I'm about to be too, literally.
Comments are welcomed. Keep them FUNNY, FRIENDS.
by Etude, Eloquent Entertainer.
Good morning, dear friends.
It is time for one of the male persuasion to write... and since my name starts with E and I'm full of ENERGY I have decided to ELUCIDATE on the fifth letter of the alphabet. I'm EXCITED and ECSTATIC about it. You? Of course you are! EXACTLY!
But first... let me introduce myself and ESTABLISH a few facts thus ELEVATING your knowledge of me as well as ENDEARING myself to you, our ENTHUSIASTIC, ENERVATED readers. I'm a cat... and an EDUCATED and EXQUISITE one at that.
Now, I don't want you to think I'm EGOTISTICAL. I'm not. In fact, I'm rather EASY. Not EASY as in … well, you know but EASY-going. I love to cuddle... that is.. I love to EMBRACE Grammy's arm with my fuzzy, ELONGATED paws and stare into her EYES adoringly. This is my way of ENSURING Grammy loves me ENTIRELY and usually ELICITS 'ooohs' and 'awwwws' and return snuggles. I must say, when she does this with visitors observing it can be a little EXASPERATING and my usual white and EBONY (more ELEGANT than grey, don't you think?) turns pink with EMBARASSMENT but deep down I love it!
Oh, oh, oh! I've just had an EPIPHANY about the ELEPHANT. In previous blogs animals were discussed. In this one, EVEN though there are many critters with E-names, only one is relevant to me. The ELEPHANT... an ENORMOUS mammal with a long memory. Not much more to say EXCEPT that unlike the ELEPHANT with the long memory I have an ELASTIC one that holds about ELEVEN things at a time. But, when my tummy ELOQUENTLY EXPRESSES an EMPTINESS the brain refocuses to one thing and one thing only. EATING! Yes, my whole being ENCOURAGES me to ELICIT food from Grammy.
How do I do that? I ELOCUTE at the top of my voice. I would like you to know that I learned from my sweet, gentle brother how to ENERGETICALLY EXPRESS my hunger. Rondo is a poet and the choirmaster of the sunrise chorus of birds and siblings... but uses his lungs to the utmost when he is hungry. He EMOTES ENTHUSIASTICALLY.... and it is neither EVOCATIVE nor ELOQUENT like my tummy. Not by a long shot. It is particularly nasty bordering on an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK more like a shrEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK in the key of E flat.
But, what I've learned from him is that it ELICITS results EXPONENTIALLY so I've adopted and adapted his ESTABLISHED pattern and use it ENTHUSIASTICALLY, ESCALATING until I get results. I do it in E sharp and it works like a charm. Grammy thinks we are naughty, EGREGIOUS which means outstandingly bad, if you can believe it! We prefer the archaic meaning of that word EGREGIOUS which is 'remarkably good'.
<---EXIT stage left.
Sorry, my EMPTY tummy was calling me. But, now that I've EATEN to EXCESS and my tummy is ENGORGED with delicious EDIBLES we can move on to the EXACT topic of the day.
Did you know that the letter E is the most frequently used letter in the ENGLISH language? A study was done by Samuel Morse (1791-1872) the inventor of the Morse Code. In short, he did it by counting the number of letters on printers' plates. I won't ELUCIDATE further on this but if you are interested it is ELOQUENTLY and EFFICIENTLY laid out in the article linked here. ENJOY! It is definitely worth the read to ENTHUSIASTS of ENGLISH.
One last statement. Well, three statements. I do not ELABORATE and EMBELLISH things. EVERY word in this blog is ENTIRELY true. Not one scintilla of EXAGGERATION here.
Comments are welcome. Let's make them ENTERTAINING. ... EXIT stage right. --->
Five Cats, Five Personalities, One Goal - Mischief & Mayhem.