The Absentee

by Rondo, Chronicler of All Things Mischief and Mayhem

Good morning, dear friends.
For those of you who follow us on Facebook you may have noticed that we are not on social media as much as usual.  Well, this is not OUR choice.  As usual, Grammy has her priorities messed up.  We thought we'd sorted things out with her and she understood that Monday morning belongs to us, as does Monday afternoon and evening.  Also, Tuesday through Sunday midnight to 11:59 PM is our time.  No disputes.

Since Grammy has been home for weeks on end she has stepped up the knitting... you know... that boring hobby of hers.  It wouldn't be boring if we were allowed to play with said yarn and chew the needles and cables. What's that you say, Grammy?  It isn't a hobby it is a pastime?  A way to pass the time?   To us it seems more of an obsession.  Yes, it does!

Pshaw!  Put it that way and we SHOULD BE YOUR PASTIME! Any time you have should be spent taking care of us not playing with balls of yarn and needles.  You know... Needles are dangerous. They have points that could harm us.  Anyway, the issue is this.  You spend too much time knitting and not enough caring for us. 

Now what!???  Oh, Grammy!  The fact we sleep 22 hours a day has nothing to do with it.  We are a 24/7/365 commitment and you are failing to provide this service.

Evidence?  You are asking for evidence?  Well, here goes.   And remember, you asked for it!
1.  We only get 6 meals a day - definitely not enough.  There's a gap in there - between 2 AM and 7 AM - when we get NOTHING, not a bit of kibble, not  a dish of pate, nothing...  and you expect us to thrive???

2.  Litter boxes are only scooped once daily - and if truth be told - we've noticed a couple of times it only happened on the SECOND day. This is unacceptable.  Our delicate paws should NEVER have to step into a dirty box.

3.  Grooming has dropped to an all-time low of once a month, if that!  Do you realize what that does to our beautiful fur suits? Total mess!  And, yes, we have to groom ourselves.  Then the fur gets ingested by us and we have to upchuck the mess in obscure places so as not to hear you moan and groan about cleaning up the floor.  Hey, it isn't our fault if you step into the soggy mess.  You complain when we upchuck ON the floor, so your sandals ...    Make up your mind... floor, sandal, pick a place.  The bottom line is this wouldn't be happening if you were doing your part.

4.  Cuddle time has dropped to an all-time low.  Yes, it has, Grammy.  What happened to 5 kitties getting 2 hours a day of cuddles and pets and snuggles.  Now, if we are lucky we get 5 minutes before you toss us to the floor and pick up that danged knitting again.

5.  And to top it all off you insist on an afternoon nap. The bed is OURS during the day.  You waltz into the bedroom, scatter us to the four winds and stretch out.  What are we to do?  Huh?  We don't want the other three dozen cat beds and perches.  THAT BED is OURS during the day!  Isn't it enough you get it from 2 AM to 7 AM?  Scandalous! 

Sorry, folks.  You didn't really need to hear this... but she kept interrupting.  I had to set her straight.  I tell you, she's a piece of work.

So, friends, if you don't find us on social media very often, please forgive us.  We are dependent on the charlady/scribe for most things... and social media is one that we cannot manage on our own.   We will be back once we get the old dear sorted... but it may take us most of the summer.   Our apologies.

As a consolation, please enjoy our YouTube Videos.

Comments are welcomed.

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