by Gentle Mousie, cuddlemuffin and concerned blogger.
A new year is beginning and that means we have a clean slate to write upon and already it has been marred. Yes, marred. As you must realize, we did not post a blog yesterday. Not from lack of trying. The scribe, you know - Grammy... well, she slacked off. Obviously, she has her priorities mixed up.
Of course, I realize that is the trouble with cheap help. So, I called the others to a meeting to discuss this issues. We five, sweet, cuddly fluffballs, sat down and had a discussion. This is how it went.
Whiskers spoke first and suggested we ought to increase Grammy's salary after all, she does do a lot for us as it is. The old dear might be more inclined to focus on us instead of all those other things that grab her attention if we grease the wheels, so to speak. Rondo jumped up and started to freak. As the sole breadwinner among the quintet he wasn't keen to cough up more moula. He felt we were already paying her too much - you know - besides the excess attention! Don't forget all those cuddles we give her and the nightly hair grooming and hand washing while she (tries to) sleeps. And those mock battles where we pounce on Sweetie to make her squeal that drag the old dear out of bed in the wee hours.
With that, Etude piped in and suggested we might check out what the economic inflation index was for the year and proceeded to do so. Maybe we could manage somewhere around three per cent? What do you think? That wouldn't break the bank. Rondo wasn't having any of that... he felt we needed to conserve that to pay for the extra cost of food this year - especially now that we have three main diets to consider - and in 5 variations... Weight control for Etude (wet and kibble) and himself (kibble only, please), Urinary for Mousie and Hypoallergenic for Whiskers (which Sweetie can have if she doesn't want her regular food).
Good point, Rondo. Well, at that point Sweetie jumped up and told the boys they were being stingy... (3% and no increase, pffft!). She continued...We should be generous and offer Grammy a 40 percent increase. That way maybe we could count on more cuddles and it would cover the cost of replacing the yarn we destroy when she's knitting. WELL, I, Mousie, don't destroy yarn but as those that do are siblings and siblings should stand together, I thought that a very good idea. Yes, a 40 percent increase sounded reasonable.
With that, mummy Whiskers, who had nodded off while Etude was on the internet checking on inflation rates, woke up and sputtered and shouted out. Why not bowl the old dear over and offer to double her salary? You know, she does clean our litter boxes, feed us frequent meals a day, washes all our dishes and keeps our bedding clean ... AND SHE PAYS THE BILL FOR THE HEATING to keep us warm. Come on guys. Show a little compassion here. It's the NEW YEAR and we ought to show a little generosity here.
Voice pipes up from the livingroom ... YOU DO REALIZE THAT DOUBLE $0 is still ZERO, don't you? and BLOGS will be on Tuesdays this month!!!
Talk about ungrateful. That proves it! You cannot get good help these days, not matter how generous you are!
Mischief and Mayhem Central 2020
1/7/2020 11:30:54 am
Double zero is still zero, you say? So uh... So you could TRIPLE her salary if you like. In fact, maybe I should offer Peepers a raise, too. NOT THAT SHE DESERVES ONE, mind you. But still, it's the thought that counts, right? purrs
1/7/2020 06:12:41 pm
Yes, we could quadruple it, Seville, but we mustn't look too generous or she'll expect such a magnanimous increase every year. May I suggest to make the gesture whether the peep deserves it or not might just give you an advantage sometime. AND it isn't like you are giving her your nip.
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Five Cats, Five Personalities, One Goal - Mischief & Mayhem.